Turkey Dinner
by Nicole S
"Impressive, huh?"
"Candles, tablecloth, napkins!"
"Your chair Monsieur."
"Why, thank you, Sir."
"Wine?"
"Please."
"Dig in."
"Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, carrots, peas, that orange mashed
up stuff. This is incredible."
"Don't forget the gravy."
"Oh, you can't forget the gravy!"
"Cheers."
"Cheers."
"Mmmmm, delicious."
"So, tell me. Who came over and cooked all this food?"
"No one came over, I ordered it."
"You ordered it?"
"Yeah, you won't believe where from?"
"Where?"
"1-800-TURKEY1."
"You're lying!"
"I would not lie about something like that. You call them up and they come
to your house, everything cooked and ready to go. You just have to put it in
the oven to keep it warm."
"That is too strange."
"But it tastes awesome."
"I'll give it that much."
"You got... boy, you're a sloppy eater. You have got cranberry sauce
on yourself. Not only that, but one of them rolled down, leaving a trail of
red down your chest."
"I'm surprised I didn't feel that. It stopped in the napkin in my lap."
"Hmmm. Remind me never to take you to a fancy restaurant."
"I only drop things on me when I eat naked for some reason."
"You do that on purpose."
"No I don't. I wouldn't do it if you didn't make me eat naked!"
"No, no, no, no. You make me eat naked!"
"No, it's the other way around. You do it on purpose so I will do this
to you."
"Hmmmm. I didn't do that particular thing on purpose, but this is."
"You nearly got those mashed potatoes in my eye!"
"Poor baby, let me make it all better."
"Um... okay, uh... yeah."
"You like that?"
"Very much."
"What about if I put some stuffing... here."
"It's a little warm and feels kind of funny... oh, I see. Hmmm. Mmmmm.
Yeah,that's great. Don't... no, not gravy!"
"Oh we must have gravy!"
"But it's hot and... squishy."
"It's not that hot. Warm, at most."
"Oh but it's still squishy. It's a good kind of squishy, though."
"Hmmmm."
"Oh my god. No, not at the... mmmmm... table. Oh my god, that is so good.
Do that thing with your... no, the other... yeah... oh baby, yeah... hmmmm...
no, don't stop that, do them both... aaaaah, yeah that's it, that's it... um,
I'm... uh, god,I'm... aaaaaah."
"You like that? Because I noticed the pumpkin pie with real whipped cream in
your kitchen."
"Hmmmmm. 1-800-TURKEY1 never felt so good."
"Wow!"
