Go to notes and disclaimers

"It's over."

Soft creak of leather as he entered the office and closed the door behind him.

"I know. Have they all been found?"

"Most of them. Some of them, dead. Suicide."

"Expected as much. How about our cigarette smoking friend?"

"Among the dead."

"Gee, I wish I could work up some tears for the bastard but I just can't."

Silent nod.

"You know about your sister?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry, Mulder."

"At least I know for sure, now. I can stop chasing my tail and move on. What about you?"

"Me?"

"You're free. As promised. Where will you go?"

"I don't... I... I haven't really thought about it. Somewhere. I don't know."

"As long as it's as far away from me as possible."

It was meant as a sarcasm, but somehow it just didn't come out that way. Krycek looked up just in time to see the fleeting spark of sadness cross his face. He waited. Hoped. Nothing more was said.

"Well, if there's nothing else..."

"No... you can... go."

Four steps toward the door.

"Krycek."

"Yeah?"

"Good job."

He turned to meet the steady, somber gaze. A full ten seconds passed before he answered.

"Thanks."

Another long pause.

"Have nice life, Mulder."

The door squeaked softly as he opened it.

"Krycek."

Another reprieve.

"What?"

"Want to grab a beer before you go? You know... celebrate..."

"You. Want to have a beer. With me."

Small shrug. "This wouldn't have happened without you. There are a lot of thank you's Alex, that will never get said. But I'm saying it."

"What have you got to thank me for?"

"Peace of mind. My sanity. Least I can do is say thank you and buy you a beer. How 'bout it?"

"Fox Mulder wants to buy me a beer. There's an offer that'll never come again."

"Is that a yes?"

Yet another long silence. Then, "Yes."

###

Eighteen months later

"Alex!"

Mulder threw his keys down on the coffee table, stripped off his jacket and tossed it onto the couch.

"Hey, Alex!"

He loosened his tie and headed for the yard.

"Yeah, like he's really going to hear me above that racket."

He lowered the volume on the boom box by the door, as he entered the backyard. A sable head, streaked red by the sun, jerked up from amongst a jungle of tomato plants. A wide, white smile brightened the dirty face. Alex jumped to his feet as Mulder approached.

"I thought you weren't coming home till tomorrow?"

"My part of the investigation is over. All that there was left to do was some medical reports. Scully's taking care of that." He stopped within inches of his lover and looked for a clean spot to kiss. That accomplished, he drew back and smirked. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Goddamn woodchuck is in my vegetables again. If I find him, he's toast."

Slow shake of the golden-brown head. "You need a hobby."

"I've got one."

"I mean a relaxing hobby. This woodchuck has made you insane."

"When I back a truck full of explosives up to the garage, then you can call me insane."

Mulder gave no answer. He was too engrossed in watching a bead of sweat make its way down Alex's throat, cutting through the dirt and grime, picking up more moisture along its journey, gaining speed, rolling down the shirtless chest and finally disappearing beyond the top edge of Alex's farmer jeans.

Only he could be this sexy, this filthy.

"Are you almost done out here?"

"Why?"

"I'm feeling kinda grubby after my flight." With one finger, he traced a line down the same path that the bead of sweat had taken. "I was thinking a long, warm shower might be nice."

Alex grinned. "Really long. I'm pretty dirty."

Mulder removed his finger from his lover's chest and slipped it into his mouth. "Let's go."

###

Alex lifted his second slice of pizza from the box. "Sorry about dinner. If you'd let me know that you were coming home today, I'd have had something prepared."

"This is fine, babe. Don't worry about it."

Mulder slouched down in the patio chair and sipped at his beer. "God, it's good to be home." He looked around the yard, peering into the gathering dusk.

Alex had done an awesome job in the brief eight months after they'd bought the house. Who the hell would have ever thought that Alex Krycek, hired gun, would turn out to have such a green thumb?

They'd worked together inside, painting, papering and such, but by the time they'd gotten around to the yard, Mulder's vacation time was up and Alex ended up taking the chore on, alone. He'd worked all day, every day, while Mulder was at work and soon, the overgrown, weed-infested scourge of the neighborhood had become the envy of same. The day that three elderly ladies from the neighborhood garden club had appeared on their doorstep to invite Alex to join, Mulder nearly died laughing.

"Why'd you turn em down?" He asked between fits of laughter, after the women had gone. "You might have enjoyed it. And who knows? Maybe some day, they'd make you their president."

Alex shot him a dirty look. "Yeah and that'd make you my first lady. Would you like that, Fox?"

Alex looked up from his pizza. "What's so amusing over there?"

"Huh?"

"You've got this silly smile on your face."

"I was thinking about that day when Mrs. Miller and her friends asked you to join their club."

"I still see nothing amusing about that."

"I wish I'd had a camera handy. The look on your face was priceless."

Before Alex could respond, the phone rang. Giving his partner a largely ignored grimace, he reached for the phone.

"Hello? Uh, whoa. Hang on. This isn't Agent Mulder. Yeah, he is... hold on."

Alex held the phone out across the table. "For you."

"Thanks." Mulder took the phone, noticing the slightly odd expression on Alex's face. He made a mental note to ask him about it after the call.

"Mulder... yeah, hi... Agent Scully should be able to provide you with that information... yeah? Odd. Unless she accidentally turned it off. Try her again. She's got all the documentation... no kidding? yeah, that is a coincidence. Well, I'll see you then. Okay... yeah."

He hung up and turned to Alex, who still had the same look on his face.

"What is it?"

"Who was that?"

"The agent that Scully and I were working with. An Agent Richardson."

Alex's brow creased. "Mark Richardson?"

"You know, I don't even know the guy's first name." He reached into his back pocket for his wallet. "I've got his card..." He pulled the card out and raised his eyebrows. "Yeah. Mark. How'd you know?"

"I went to the academy with a Mark Richardson."

"Alex, that was how many years ago? And you remember his voice?"

"Some people are good with faces. I'm good with voices."

"That's amazing. But why do you look so disturbed?"

"Do I?"

"Yeah."

Alex shrugged it off. "Just strange, I guess. I never thought about any of the guys I knew back then. Never thought about whether or not any of 'em were still with the Bureau. Why shouldn't they be? Just cause I'm not..."

Mulder studied him intently. If he was trying to sound regretful, he wasn't pulling it off. He knew with certainty, that Alex had no regrets about not being an agent anymore. There had to be something else bothering him. He decided to let it go for now. He'd been gone four days and had no desire to instigate any heavy conversations. Still, there was something about the small change in Alex's mood... the darkening of his eyes, that made Mulder pull his chair up alongside its twin. He tilted Alex's face toward his and laid a long, soft kiss on his lips.

"What was that for?" Alex murmured when they separated.

"I need a reason to kiss you?"

Alex mouthed the word no.

"You done eating?"

"I guess. Why?"

"Let's clean this up and go to bed."

"Tired?"

"No."

Alex grinned. "Didn't you get enough in the shower?"

Mulder picked his lover's hand up and brought it to his lips, before pressing it over the rapidly hardening bulge in his jeans. Alex stroked him gently.

"I guess not."

Mulder rose to his feet, pulling Alex up by the front of his shirt. "Come on."

###

Quickly, they cleared away the pizza and beer bottles, then retreated to the bedroom. Once inside, Mulder jerked the younger man against him, taking his mouth in a hard kiss that left them both struggling for breath.

"I missed you," Mulder rumbled as he moved in for another kiss.

"Really?"

"Of course. Don't I tell you I miss you everytime I'm gone?"

Alex nodded slowly. "I just figured, you know, this case kept you so busy. There was that one night that you didn't call at all..."

"Yeah, but you know why that was. I told you how late I got in. I didn't want to wake you at that hour." He brushed a knuckle down the top line of Alex's nose. "I called you the next morning."

"I know. But do me a favor? Next time, call when you get in. I don't care what time it is."

Mulder observed his lover curiously. "Okay." His hand moved in a slow, firm line, up and down Alex's back. "And... it doesn't matter what I'm doing, I'm never too busy that I'm not thinking of you and missing you. You read me?"

Alex smiled and closed his eyes. "Yeah."

Mulder's hand slid up his back and into his hair, massaging his scalp lightly, while his other hand busied itself with the buttons on his shirt.

"Anytime I'm gone, doesn't matter for how long... could be a night... I miss you. I miss your smile." He nuzzled Alex's neck, prompting a soft sigh. "I miss your smell. I miss tasting you..." He pulled the shirt away and let it drop to the floor. "I miss the sweet way you wake me up, some mornings..."

Alex opened his eyes and met his lover's heated stare. Mulder tugged at Alex's lower lip with the tip of one finger, then released it. "Waking up in this mouth beats the hell out of that damned travel alarm."

Alex captured the finger between his lips before it could get away.

Mulder's eyelids drooped and he inhaled deeply. "I don't know if it was your intention, but... you've got me completely spoiled, Lexei. And now I'll never let you go."

Alex released his finger. "Promise me, Fox."

"I promise." Mulder backed Alex up to the bed. "Never let you go." They dropped together onto the mattress. "Never, never, never, never..."

He lowered his head to Alex's chest, kissing the warm, smooth skin. Moving lower to tease one rigid nipple.

Alex gasped aloud, arching into his lover's mouth.

"Fox..."

Mulder's teeth clamped down on the nipple and tugged gently. A low hum tried to push its way past Alex's compressed lips.

Mulder released the hard peak and slid up to drop a kiss on Alex's forehead. "Something tells me that you're not in the mood to play tonight."

Alex turned glazed green eyes up to the man above him and said nothing.

Mulder stroked his cheek. "Tell me."

"I'm sorry, Fox. I c... I can't... please..."

"It's okay, babe. I understand. How do you want it?"

Alex pressed up against him. "You know."

Mulder studied him for all of a second and a half before brushing his lips with his own. "I know."

Alex arched violently, an abrupt shriek cutting the air as Mulder gave his nipple a hard twist. He proceeded to finish undressing his writhing lover before removing his own clothing. Having accomplished his task in only seconds, he pulled the nightstand drawer open, producing the tube of lubricant. Alex squirmed impatiently beneath him as he readied himself.

"Fox..."

"Hmm?"

"Cuff me."

No questions asked, Mulder retrieved his handcuffs from his pants pocket and secured Alex's wrists to one of the vertical slats of the headboard.

"Okay?"

Alex nodded. "Now fuck me."

"I'm going to..."

"Now. Please..."

"All right, babe. Just take it easy."

"I can't." Alex writhed and arched beneath his teasing touch. "I need it now..."

Mulder lifted Alex against him. "Okay, baby, okay. I'll take good care of you..." He executed two small, teasing thrusts, then drove home with one hard push.

The sound that ripped from Alex's throat would have stopped anyone else cold, but Mulder knew that was the last thing his lover wanted. He held Alex's hips in a bruising grip and slammed brutally into him.

Alex's cries pierced the humid July air as Mulder wrapped a hand around his cock and began to milk it.

"That good, baby?"

Alex strained against the cuffs, moaning through gritted teeth. "So good... harder... harder.."

Mulder called up the strength he needed to give his lover what he begged for.

The line between pleasure and pain blurred, melding the two as Mulder took Alex screaming over the edge. The younger man's muscles contracted violently around him and he was gone, joining Alex in blissful oblivion. He collapsed on top of the perspiration drenched, heaving chest, too exhausted to move. The fact that Alex didn't immediately wrap his arms around Mulder, didn't occur to him until a few hours later, when he awakened and realized that Alex was still cuffed to the bed. Mulder lifted himself carefully off of his sleeping lover and reached for the key. He unlocked one wrist and as he was working on the other, a soft moan drew his attention. He looked down to see a slight glitter appear under the fluttering eyelids. He quickly released Alex's wrist from the other bracelet and lowered himself onto the mattress, beside him. Alex winced as he moved his arms. Mulder rubbed them gently and whispered against his cheek.

"Go back to sleep."

He lightly kissed the heavily stubbled skin and watched as Alex's eyes drifted shut. He then rested his head on the same pillow his lover's occupied, and fell asleep.

###

Alex felt blindly for the ringing phone then pulled it up to his ear.

"H'llo. Mmm hmm... s'okay." He rolled back toward his lover, draped a leg across his thighs and placed the phone in his hand. "Scully."

Mulder paused to kiss the top of the dark head that had come to rest on his chest, before lifting the phone to his ear.

"Yeah... uh huh. Yeah, he did... no? Hmm. I don't know... all wrapped up? Okay... no, don't worry about it. Yeah. I will. You too."

He disconnected and dropped the phone onto the floor. Alex trailed a string of warm kisses across his chest.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah. Scully just wanted to tell me that things were all wrapped up and that she was heading home. She said to apologize again for waking you."

"Did Richardson finally get in touch with her?"

"Yeah. She said her phone was on and in working order, the whole time. I don't understand why he couldn't get in touch with her."

"Strange," Alex said softly.

"Uh huh."

Alex was quiet for a while, then gave voice to the question that had been floating around in his head since yesterday. "Fox?"

Mulder stroked his back and shoulders. "Hmm?"

"Yesterday, you told Richardson, 'see you then'. Do you have to go back there?"

"Oh. No. He's coming to DC. Next week, he starts a two week seminar, so he said he'd look Scully and me up when he got here. You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd think that Scully was flirting with him a little."

"Maybe she was," Alex said flatly. "The Richardson I remember could charm the leaves off the trees and was a very good looking man... unless he's suddenly gone bald or been horribly disfigured," he added in the same low voice.

"No, he's good looking. And yeah, he seems very charming."

So he'd noticed.

Alex went silent.

"Hey." Mulder shook him gently. "Did you go back to sleep on me, or what?"

"No..."

"What do you want to do, today?"

Slow shrug and a softly uttered, "I don't know."

"I don't believe that. There isn't a Saturday that goes by that you don't want to drag me off to some new greenhouse that you found on the net. I can't believe that we've finally hit everyplace between here and Pennsylvania... Alex?"

Alex blinked, hearing the slight concern in Mulder's voice and forced himself out of his dark thoughts. "There... there is this one place..."

Mulder hugged him tightly and kissed the side of his head. "Thought so..."

"They're supposed to specialize in ornamental grasses..." He started to pick up steam. "You know how I said I'd like to put a natural screen up on the south border?"

"Yeah, I know."

"Well, it isn't that far. If we got a quick bite and left soon, we could be back before dark..."

###

One Week Later

"Ouch! Shit!"

"What did you do?" Scully asked, as she opened the door of their shared office.

Mulder mumbled around the finger, still in his mouth. "Paper cut."

She entered the office, followed by a well-dressed man, average height and weight, glossy black hair and eyes to match. The man's eyes rested a little too long on Mulder's mouth.

"God, those suckers hurt, don't they?"

Mulder pulled his finger from between his lips and stood up. "Richardson. How are ya?"

"Pretty good. Agent Scully found me wandering the halls, looking for your office." He looked around. "Pretty far removed from the rest of the population, isn't it?"

Mulder smiled. "Yeah. We like it that way. When did you get into town?"

"Last night. Seminar doesn't start till tomorrow."

Mulder nodded.

Richardson looked from one agent to the other. "You two free for lunch?"

"Ohhh, I'm sorry, I'm not," Scully said with sincere regret.

"Hmm, too bad." He turned immediately to Mulder. "Guess it's just you and me."

"Uh..." He would have declined... wanted to, but he felt bad for the guy. He seemed so eager for company. "Y-yeah. Sure."

Richardson's face lit up. "Great! When's a good time?"

"I don't know... one-thirty?"

"One-thirty, it is. Well..." He looked around. "I'll just go find something to do until then..."

Mulder glanced at Scully, then back at Richardson. "If you don't mind being bored for a couple of hours, you can hang out here if you want to. I've got some reports to catch up on."

The other man smiled. "You don't mind?"

"No... like I said, you'll probably be..." Mulder met the eyes that seemed to want to bore a hole through his skull. "..bored to death..."

"It's only a couple of hours." Dark eyes scanned the room again then came back to rest on Mulder. "There's enough interesting stuff around here to keep me occupied for that long, at least."

Scully watched the exchange, suddenly beginning to feel just a bit apprehensive. "Mulder... listen, I can probably put those two autopsies off for a while..."

It was Richardson who answered. "No! Uh... hey, don't go screwing up your schedule for me."

"I don't think it'll be that big a deal. The cadavers are in no hurry..."

"I appreciate your willingness to put your work aside to entertain me Agent Scully, but really, I wouldn't hear of it. I didn't come here to disrupt anything and I'd feel terrible knowing that I did. Maybe we can all three, have lunch another time before I go."

Scully turned wary eyes to her partner. "All right then... another time."

Richardson blew out what could only be described as a soft sigh of relief. Scully studied him with slightly narrowed eyes.

"Okay, well..." she looked back to Mulder, who was standing, quietly oblivious to the whole thing.

Mulderrrrr. How can a guy as brilliant as you, be so dense sometimes?

"I gotta go, Mulder. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Later, Scully. Tell the stiffs I said hey."

"Right." She nodded at the other man. "Agent Richardson."

He gave her a dazzling smile. "Agent Scully. See you soon."

Once Scully was gone, Richardson turned to face Mulder. "Well. Please, go on with your reports. I'll just look around, if you don't mind?"

"Not at all."

Mulder seated himself and returned his attention to his computer.

Richardson wandered around the office, looking at this and reading that, occasionally stealing a lengthy glance at Mulder. After half an hour, he spoke up.

"I'm sorry to disturb you..."

Mulder looked up.

"This is fascinating stuff. A... beastwoman?"

Mulder tipped his head and raised his eyebrows. "Believe it or not."

"A man who could change into a woman and back again at will?"

"Fascinating case. The only witness left alive was some poor sap who was attacked in his car outside of a club. He insisted that he got into the car with a woman, but when she got out, she was a man. This person and others from the group he belonged to, had this strange ability to mesmerize their victims with nothing more than a touch," he demonstrated on the area between his thumb and forefinger, "here."

"Really?"

Shit, I'd pay a king's ransom for that ability right now...

"You must have seen so much over the course of your career."

Mulder gave him a half smile. "Yeah, I have." His eyes slipped back toward the computer.

"I'd really be interested to hear more, if you wouldn't mind... while we're at lunch, maybe?"

Mulder stopped typing and looked back up at him. "You're really interested, or do you just want to see how crazy 'Spooky' Mulder really is?"

Richardson opened and closed his mouth.

"You can't tell me that you never heard that in the academy, at least."

"Well... yeah. But there were a few of us who didn't laugh."

Mulder raised an eyebrow.

This sounds familiar...

"If you really want to hear some of the more interesting cases..."

"I really do." Richardson grinned. "I'll shut up now, though. I've distracted you from your reports long enough."

Mulder nodded and returned to his computer.

###

Mark Richardson sat quietly, eyes trained on the man across from him.

"... so, for every call we get that I think could be legit, there are twenty or more that turn out to be hoaxes or the wild imaginings of some bored, stressed or just plain crazy people. Fortunately, we usually find that out before we make the trip."

"You do a lot of traveling?"

"More than I'd like."

"But you've seen so many different places..."

"Yeah, well it's not everything it's cracked up to be. Long flights. Longer work days. It's tiring."

Richardson smiled. "But still, you do it."

"Yeah. The traveling isn't as extensive as it used to be, but like I said, it's more than I'd like." Mulder glanced down at his watch. "I gotta get going. I have a three-fifteen meeting with the A.D. and if I'm late..."

Richardson held his hands up. "Hey, I know. My A.D. is a real bitch to work for. So... listen... what about dinner one night?"

Mulder pressed his lips together and shook his head. "Sorry, can't make dinners. If you'd like to have lunch again before you go, that'd be great. I'll find a day and time when Agent Scully will be able to join us and get back to you."

"... Sure. Uh... I'd love to hear about more of these odd cases of yours. Would she mind?"

Mulder chuckled. "Probably."

"Well, we can set up a lunch for the three of us, but maybe just you and I could get together again at another time. I wouldn't want to bore Agent Scully."

Mulder shrugged. "You're that interested?"

"Oh, Agent Mulder. I'm very interested." His eyes quickly caressed the length of the man who had just risen from his seat. "Very interested."

###

"You didn't eat much."

"I know. I kinda had a big lunch."

Alex propped his chin up against the heel of his hand. "Yeah? That's not like you. Scully and I usually have to fight with you to have lunch, at all."

"I know. But I went out to eat with Agent Richardson..."

Alex froze when he heard the name.

"...and I ate and talked, ate and talked and before I knew it, lunch was gone."

"Richardson?"

"Yeah. Remember I told you last week, that he was coming to town? Well, he's here. And he asked us to have lunch with him."

"Oh... Scully still flirting with him?"

"No, now that you mention it. She seemed a little tense for some reason... almost cool. Maybe she was just upset that we went out to lunch without her."

Alex picked his head up. "Without her? How come?"

"She had a couple of autopsies scheduled. She was going to blow them off till later, but Richardson insisted that he didn't want to take her away from her work."

Alex's jaw tensed. "So, what'd you talk about?"

Mulder shrugged. "Work. He seemed very interested in the stranger cases. Said he'd like to talk more about them. I..." He held up a finger and reached for the ringing phone. "Hello? Yeah... when? How were the bodies found?" He sighed into the phone. "Yeah... right. I'll be there, soon."

Mulder hung up and looked apologetically at his lover. "Sorry. Body found in Fairfax, in a dumpster. Pretty gruesome from the sound of it."

"Sounds like what happened in Richmond last month."

"I know. That's what they're afraid of." He dialed Scully's number and looked back to Alex. "Listen, don't... Scully? It's me. Yeah, sorry but I just got a call from Skinner's office. We gotta go to Fairfax. I'll be by in twenty minutes. Okay." He disconnected and turned once more to Alex. "I have no idea how long I'm going to be." He skimmed Alex's jaw with two knuckles, then rose from the table. "Don't wait up, okay?"

"Okay."

Five minutes later, Mulder left the house. Five minutes after that, Alex left as well.

###

Mark Richardson opened his hotel room door and squinted at the man in the hall. It took him a few seconds, but recognition flashed in his dark eyes.

"Alex Krycek? Holy shit!"

"Richardson."

"How the hell are you, man?" He stepped away from the doorway. "Come in!"

Alex stalked slowly into the room.

"How did you know I was here?"

"Not that hard to find out... how've you been, Mark?"

"Fine! Wow, I can't believe this! I almost didn't recognize you. It's been years. You were a skinny kid back then but," he eyed Alex appreciatively. "You filled out. Very nicely."

Alex ignored the comment.

"So, where the hell have you been? Nobody's seen or heard from you in years! I think I've run into just about everybody we knew from the academy, except for you. Are you still with the Bureau?"

"No."

"No? What happened?"

"Long boring story."

Richardson shrugged. "Okay... man, what a coincidence that you're here. You'll never guess who I had lunch with today?"

Alex remained silent. Waiting.

"Fox-fucking-Mulder. Can you believe that shit? Goddamn, Alex. You should see him. He's more fucking gorgeous than he used to be. I wanted to drag him up on that table and fuck the life out of him..."

Alex had all he could do to stay cool. He took a long breath in through his nose and let it slowly out of his mouth.

"Forget it, Richardson."

"Forget... are you out of your mind? Listen Alex, I think I can get him. I can't explain why, but I've got the strongest feeling that he'd be open to an experience with another man..."

"Richardson."

"What?"

"It's not going to happen."

"Why not? You know something? Well obviously you do, or you wouldn't be saying that to me. Shit, is he married? I didn't see a ring..."

"No, he isn't married, but he's in a very serious relationship. With me."

"You?" He threw his head back and laughed. "Bullshit."

"It's true. Apparently, you didn't recognize my voice on the phone the other day when you called our house, but I recognized yours."

The smile fell away from Richardson's face. "You're... you're not kidding."

"No, I'm not."

The smile crept back. "You dog, you! You were always the quiet one. All those times our little group would get together and start talking about how we wanted to do him, you never said a word... goddamn. They say it's the quiet ones you gotta watch out for... so tell me... how is he?"

"I didn't come here to discuss our sex life with you."

"Aww c'mon, Krycek. It's the least you can do! Tell me about that mouth. Those lips were just made for giving head..."

Alex displayed remarkable control. "Leave it alone, Richardson. And leave him alone. That's what I came to tell you."

Richardson folded his arms across his chest and smirked. "You sound serious."

"I am."

"So, you two are exclusive?"

"Very."

"Very. Ooooh, sounds like looove..."

"After all these years, is that still a difficult concept for you to grasp?"

"I'm happy and proud to say, yes. Yes, it is."

"Well, that's too bad."

"Spare me your sympathy, Krycek. I don't believe for a second that you love the guy..."

Alex's eyes glittered cold and hard.

Richardson went on. "You know what I think? I think that you've got a damn good thing going here. He's a freak, isn't he? Insatiable? He'll do anything you want, whenever you want it and you don't want to share that with anybody. Well, I can't blame you. I wouldn't want anybody else horning in on my action, but I'm sorry, pal. I gotta try. I watched that ass today, and all I could do was imagine burying myself in that..."

The air left his lungs in a quick blast as Alex slammed him against the nearest wall and held him there with a forearm, pressed against his throat. His voice, low and dripping venom, sounded in the other man's ears.

"I don't think you understand, Richardson. I'm not asking you. I'm not suggesting. I'm telling you. He's off limits. Leave. Him. Alone."

Hard green eyes held Richardson against the wall, even after the arm was removed from his throat. Richardson brought a hand slowly to his neck and rubbed.

"Do we understand each other, Mark?"

"Yeah," Richardson whispered, then cleared his throat. "Yeah, I think we do."

"Good. Then there'll be no need for me to visit you again."

Alex turned and walked toward the door. Richardson's voice followed him.

"Sorry our only meeting after so long, had to turn out like this."

Alex's only answer was a long stare. He closed the door softly behind him.

###

three days later

"Mulder."

"Agent Mulder. It's Mark Richardson."

"How's the seminar going?"

"You know what they're like. Long... boring as hell..."

"Yeah, I've managed to avoid most, but there were a few that I had no choice about. You've got my sympathies."

"Well, good. Then maybe you'll take pity on me and go have lunch? I need some stimulating conversation or I'm going to go crazy."

"Umm..."

"Please say you're free. I gotta get out of here for a little while, at least."

"Uh, yeah. I guess I can take an hour. Want to meet me at the same place we went to before?"

"Yeah, that's great! What time?"

Mulder checked his watch. "Twelve-thirty?"

"I'll see you there."

"All right, then."

Richardson smiled to himself as he dropped the phone back into it's cradle.

###

Mulder entered the restaurant and almost immediately spotted the man waving at him from a corner table. He approached and took a seat.

"How long have you been here?"

"About ten minutes. Thanks for meeting me."

Mulder nodded. "No problem."

Richardson wasted no time.

"Actually, I wondered if it might be."

"I don't follow you."

"Look Agent Mulder, I don't want to upset your partner, but I thought I had to at least clear this up..."

Mulder cocked his head. "Why do you think you've upset Agent Scully?"

"Uh..." He wrinkled his nose. "I don't mean her. I meant... Alex."

Mulder stared at him a full ten seconds before responding. "Would you care to elaborate?"

"Alex and I went to the academy together."

"That, I know."

"Oh. Well... he visited me the other night. Did you know that?"

"No."

"He... he's under the impression that... well... let me say this. I'm bisexual, okay? And Alex is under the impression that I may have designs on you. I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, but I don't want any trouble."

Mulder listened silently.

"Alex always was what I would describe as 'quietly intense'." You know, bordering on the verge of obsessive. I'm sure you know that he graduated in the top ten percent of our class. Anything he involved himself in, he gave a hundred and ten percent to. Now that's fine where work is concerned, but in relationships, it can be a bit much. That's why I was shocked to find out that you were a couple."

Still, Mulder said nothing.

"I don't know you really, but I think I'd have to say that to me, you don't seem like the type of man who likes to be held on to, too tightly." He held up his hands. "I could be wrong. At any rate, I just want you to know that I've got no plans. And the thing is, I don't think Alex believed me. He was pretty irate. Could you just maybe, convince him that I'm no threat to him? Even though he almost put me through my hotel room wall, I still like him. Always have, and I wouldn't cause him any trouble."

Mulder's eyes flicked down to the table. "I'll talk to him."

"That's all I ask. Now, um... if you'd like to beg off on lunch, I'll understand."

Mulder hesitated for a moment, then spoke. "No. We're here. There's nothing wrong with having lunch, right?"

Richardson gave him a wide grin. "Right. I'm glad you're not pissed. I hope Alex won't be."

Mulder nodded.

"Okay! Well, I feel better. Listen... tell me more about that Tooms guy..."

###

Alex turned the shower off and slid the door open, to find Mulder standing there, holding a bath towel.

"Shit!"

"Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you. I just walked in as you were shutting the water off."

Alex blew out a short breath and planted a wet kiss on the other man's mouth, before taking the towel from him.

"You home for the day?"

"Yeah."

"Early."

"I know. I wanted to talk to you about something."

Concern washed over Alex's features. "Something wrong?"

"Nothing we can't straighten out." He ran the back of his hand down Alex's arm. "Get dressed. I'll wait for you in the living room." He exited the bathroom, leaving Alex confused and curious. Quickly, he dried off, dressed, and joined Mulder in the living room.

"So..." He took a seat next to Mulder on the sofa. "What's up?"

"Why didn't you tell me about Mark Richardson?"

That fucking son of a bitch.

Alex tilted his head downward and said nothing.

"Alex..."

He didn't even attempt to play dumb.

"How did you know?"

"We had lunch today."

Alex's head snapped up. "You what?"

"Surprised he'd get within fifty yards of me after you attacked and threatened him?"

"What the hell is he up to?" The question was more to himself than it was to Mulder.

"What makes you think he's up to anything?"

Alex met his eyes. "I know him."

"You knew him."

"He hasn't changed a bit."

"Okay, so tell me. Tell me what he's like. Tell me what justified you going over to his hotel room and slamming him up against a wall. And then tell me why you said nothing about it to me."

Alex closed his eyes then opened them slowly. "There was a group of us at the academy. A small group. Five, to be exact. Gay and bi. We hung out together. Usually just to talk. We just felt more comfortable with each other. Fox Mulder was a well-known name around there. Everybody knew about the profiling genius who was just a little on the quirky side... we talked about you a lot. But usually the conversation would end up taking a sexual turn. This was something, Fox, I never would have told you, but since you need to know about Mark Richardson, I guess you're going to hear all of it. They'd say the raunchiest things. I'm saying they, because these were discussions I never took part in. I'm not saying I wasn't there. I was. Smiled. Uh'ed Ah-ha'ed. But that's all. Anyway, they'd speculate on your orientation. Talk about, in graphic detail, the things they'd like to do to you and what they'd want you to do to them. Took bets on how much of a freak they thought you'd be... and Richardson was the ringleader."

Mulder lowered his eyes for a second, then again raised them to Alex's downturned face.

"I went to his hotel room the other night because I wanted to see if he was the same sneaky asshole I remembered, and he is. After he asked me where the hell I'd been the past few years, he jumped right onto the subject of lunch with Fox Mulder. Told me what he wanted to do to you in that restaurant. I told him to forget it and he laughed at me, saying that he was pretty sure he could get you. I stopped him at that point and told him that we were together. He didn't believe me at first, but when I told him that it was me who answered the phone at home the other night, he had no choice. He started asking personal questions, none of which I answered. I told him to leave you alone. He refused and said some more stuff that I really didn't like and yeah, I slammed him up against the wall and told him one more time, to stay away from you. Then I left."

Mulder considered what he'd just heard, then asked softly, "Why didn't you tell me about it?"

Alex shook his head. "Because if I told you that, I'd have to tell you the rest and I didn't want you to have to hear that stuff. I didn't want you to know that you'd been the object of a bunch of guys' sleazy fantasies."

Mulder placed a hand on Alex's thigh. "I appreciate you wanting to protect me," he said softly. "But I still think you should have told me."

One corner of Alex's mouth tightened then relaxed. "Sorry."

Mulder squeezed his leg. "So. Richardson was that big a jerk?"

"Huge. Thing is, he got away with. He was so bloody smooth and good looking. He'd turn on the charm and get almost anything or anybody he wanted."

"You?"

Alex looked him in the eye. "No."

Mulder nodded his acknowledgment. Paused, then asked. "Is that all?"

"What do you mean?"

"I just think there's something more. I sense more in you than just anger toward this guy."

Alex's eyes flicked away.

"Are you worried?"

Alex rose from the sofa and moved toward the sliding doors.

"I don't trust him as far as I can throw him."

Mulder left the sofa and came to stand directly behind him.

"He's not the one you have to trust."

No response.

"Do you trust me, Lexei?"

Alex lowered his head. "Of course I do. But like I said, he's so damn smooth... and good-looking..."

"He may be those things," Mulder placed his hands gently on Alex's shoulders and turned him around. "But he's no Alex Krycek."

Alex stared across the short distance, into warm, hazel eyes.

"He's no competition, Alex. Not in his wildest dreams."

Alex lowered his eyes.

"Look at me, Lexei."

Wary green eyes rose to solemn hazel.

"There's only you." Mulder slipped his fingers through his lover's hair and gently tugged. "You're it. Do you understand me?"

Alex tried to swallow past the lump forming in his throat. He nodded mutely.

Mulder held Alex's head still while his lips descended for a long, gentle kiss. He broke the kiss and moved slowly to an ear, licking and nuzzling. Alex leaned into it, moaning softly.

"Lexei..." Mulder's whisper tickled the sensitive interior. "I want you..."

Alex's fingers clenched in the older man's shirt, but he never said a word. Mulder's hand moved to the front of his shirt, deftly undoing the buttons and pushing the material away from his shoulders. Alex shrugged out of the shirt and let it fall to the floor. Before he could make another move, his lover's mouth was there, tracing a moist path across his shoulder. He stopped at the fleshy curve at the base of his neck and began to apply a light suction.

"Fox..."

The word died on his lips as Mulder's mouth covered his once again. The older man's hands moved down and began to work on his pants. Once unfastened, they pulled the denim down until they dropped freely to the floor. Alex kicked them away, then reciprocated, pulling at his lover's clothes, until he was naked as well.

Too impatient to move them to the bedroom, Mulder pulled Alex to the floor and sprawled over him, again devouring his mouth.

The thought that Fox was just doing this to boost his feeling of security, flitted across Alex's mind, then quickly dissipated as the mouth left his and began a teasing journey down his chest, stopping to thoroughly torment both nipples. Alex moaned through gritted teeth as Mulder bit down gently and pulled at one tight peak.

"Fox, please..." Alex arched into the body above him, seeking greater contact, begging for more.

Mulder abandoned his present pleasure and began to move again, on a steady downward path, licking and teasing his way to the twitching muscle. His tongue inched out and danced lightly around the head, bringing Alex's back at least five inches off the floor. He smiled at the reaction, then took his mouth away, leaving the younger man twisting in agony.

"No... please... I n... need... shit!"

Alex issued a choked cry of surprise as his lover unceremoniously sucked his entire length into his mouth. His fingers tangled in Mulder's hair and he automatically began to thrust into the wet heat.

Normally, Mulder would have stopped Alex, preferring to tease and torment, bringing him along at his own pace, but today he didn't have the heart. Though Alex tried to temper his insecurities, Mulder knew with certainty, that they still existed. Sex wasn't a cure-all, not by a long shot, but right now, physical reassurance was what he needed and Mulder could never refuse him anything.

Alex continued to thrust frantically, feeling the intolerable pressure begin. In a heartbeat, he was being rocked by a series of shattering explosions. Loud, gasping sobs pushed past his lips as he empitied himself down his lover's throat.

Alex collapsed and went still, whimpering softly as Mulder released his now depleted cock and then began to gently lick him clean. When he finished, he raised himself to his hands and knees, straddling his lover's motionless body. He kissed the perfectly bowed lips, then the tip of Alex's nose.

"I know you're tired," Mulder whispered, "but I gotta have you, baby."

He crawled forward until his own rigid cock bobbed just above Alex's face. He lowered his hips until Alex was able to take him easily into his mouth, which he did, eagerly.

"Mmmm, God..." Mulder moaned, just above a whisper, as Alex's talented mouth worked on him. Reluctantly, he pulled away just a couple of brief moments later, leaving Alex protesting softly.

"No... Fox, let me..."

"Shh." Mulder stroked Alex's cheek then pushed himself onto his side, pressing himself up against his lover. He turned Alex and pulled him back against his chest. He grasped his cock by it's base and began to slowly work it between the smooth cheeks and into the tight opening. Alex pushed backward, wanting all of Fox, all at once.

Mulder gave in to the silent plea. He lifted Alex slightly, bringing his right arm under and around his chest, then wrapped his left arm low, around his waist and entered him with one hard thrust.

Alex bit back a sob. His fingers dug into the arms clamped around him as Mulder quickly established a forceful rhythm.

The arm around Alex's chest, moved up to encircle his neck, drawing his head back against Mulder's shoulder. "You're too fucking beautiful," Mulder grated into his ear as he slowed his movements. "My beautiful Lexei... do you know how much I love you?"

Alex gasped at his lover's words. Words he needed so desperately to hear.

Mulder increased the speed and strength of his thrusts. "I love... you, Lexei... love you..." He groaned harshly into Alex's hair as his body convulsed violently, then went slack.

Alex lay quietly, still wrapped tightly in Mulder's arms. He stroked the arm around his neck, waiting for his lover to recover. A short time later, Mulder began to stir. He dropped several small kisses onto the dark head and raised himself up enough to be able to see Alex's face.

"I guess you're going to need another shower," he smiled down at the younger man.

Alex shifted and looked up. He gave Mulder a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Come with me?"

"Yeah."

Both men rose and gathered up their clothing, then headed in to the bathroom.

"Hungry?"

"A little."

"Want to go out somewhere?"

"If you want."

"Ruby's?"

"Sure."

###

The server led the two men to a corner table at Mulder's request and took their drink orders. Once she was gone, Mulder turned to Alex and brushed the tips of his fingers across the top of the other man's hand.

"I won't have lunch with Richardson anymore."

Alex lowered his eyes to the table. "It... it's okay. Like you said, it's you I have to trust. And I do."

"I don't even know the guy. And even if I did... it's not worth getting you upset over. I'll tell him to get lost, tomorrow, if I hear from him."

"Fox..."

"It's done, Alex. Now let's just forget about Mark Richardson, okay?"

Alex grasped Mulder's hand and brought it to his lips. "Okay."

###

The dark-eyed man watched from his vantage point at the bar, as the two at the corner table, began their meal.

Small city, boys.

He smiled, tossed back the remainder of his beer and summoned a waitress.

###

"You're not going to poison him."

"No? And why not?"

"You wouldn't have the heart."

"Might I remind you what it was I did for a living..."

Mulder smirked. "I don't care what you say, Alex. I don't care what you did. You can't kill him. You know you can't."

Alex stared at him for a few seconds, the sighed. "Okay. Maybe I can't. But I'm going to try to trap him. Then I'm going to drive him to Florida."

Mulder let out a hardy laugh. "Be sure to take the scenic route."

Alex rested his chin in his hand. "Shit. I'm going soft."

Mulder favored him with a heated stare. "I can fix that for you..."

Just as Alex was about to answer, a waitress approached the table. "Excuse me guys, but this drink is for you." She placed a glass down on in front of Mulder. "From an admirer."

"Who?" Alex spun in his chair, looking around the restaurant, before Mulder could respond.

"I'm sorry, I'm not supposed to say." The waitress retreated quickly, before any more questions could be asked.

Mulder stared down at the drink, then looked around the room. "This is a new one. Wonder where it came from?"

Alex jerked his body around in his chair. "Are you kidding? It's him."

"Richardson? Come on, Alex. Do you see him anywhere around here?"

"No. But he wouldn't stay, knowing I'd be looking for him."

Mulder thought about it. Alex had a point. But still...

"Could've been anybody, Alex."

"I know. But it was him."

"Okay. Let's just say for a second, that it was him. So what? He's just trying to get to you. And you're letting him. Forget it. I'll talk to him tomorrow and everything will be taken care of."

"Don't bet on it."

"Come on Alex, cut it out. You're getting paranoid."

Alex gave no indication that he'd heard a word that was just said to him. He continued to look around, muttering to himself.

"I'm going to rip his head off."

"No, you're not... Alex."

The stress placed on his name, brought his attention back to Mulder.

"We have no proof that it was Richardson who sent this drink."

"I don't need proof."

"Just... stay away from him. I'll take care of this."

"A good talking to isn't going to get it, Fox. I'll communicate with him in a language he'll understand..."

"I said, I'll take care of it." It came out a little more forcefully than he'd intended. His tone softened, immediately. "Please, Alex. We don't need any trouble."

Alex studied him for a second, then his gaze dropped to the table. "Fine. You want me to leave him alone, I'll leave him alone."

"To avoid trouble. Okay?"

"Yeah. Sure."

One word answers. Great. Just wonderful.

###

The ride home was a long, silent one. Alex sat sulking in the passenger's seat, eyes never leaving his window. Mulder sighed softly, not knowing how to deal with his lover's pensive mood. It was a funny thing. They'd fought constantly and violently before they became lovers, but they'd been together a year and a half now, and had only ever had minor disagreements. Now there was this and Mulder was at a complete loss.

He stole frequent glances across the short distance, hoping to catch Alex's eye but the younger man refused to turn away from the window. Finally, he stopped trying and just concentrated on getting them home as soon as possible.

###

The door swung open and Mulder stepped back, allowing Alex to enter first.

"Hey, uh... I got some work I really should try to get finished." Mulder took a step in the direction of his office. "Want to come with me?"

Alex turned his wary green gaze on his lover, who gave him a coaxing smile.

"I'll let you look over my shoulder..."

"I don't think so. I'm kind of tired, I think I'll just," he jerked his head in the direction of the bedroom, "turn in."

The smile faded from Mulder's face. "O-okay. I won't be too long."

Alex nodded and as Mulder took a couple of tentative steps toward him, he moved away and off toward the bedroom. "Goodnight," he called softly and disappeared into the hall.

Mulder stood quietly, in the middle of the living room, until he heard the bedroom door close. He inhaled deeply and turned toward his office.

Alex's eyes snapped open and he turned toward the clock.

Eleven-twelve.

Twenty minutes later than the last time he looked.

He'd been in bed for an hour and a half, now. No sleep in sight. No shock, it was impossible to sleep knowing what he'd done to Fox, tonight. He was behaving like a child and he hated himself for it. Fox didn't deserve the cold-shoulder. He hadn't done anything wrong. So, he didn't exactly see this Richardson thing the same way. So what? The point was, he said he'd tell the guy to get lost. So, he didn't believe that it was Richardson who sent him that drink. Truth of the matter was, they hadn't seen him, so they really didn't know for sure that it was him.

Stop being an idiot. Go find him. Put your arms around him, give him a big wet one, then fuck him right there, in the chair.

Alex slipped out of bed and made his way quietly, to Mulder's office. The door was ajar and he was just about to push it open the rest of the way, when Mulder's voice, soft and low, broke the silence.

"I dont know how to deal with this. His suspicion seems to be growing and I don't know what to do to quell it. Got any ideas?"

Alex backed away from the door and moved back toward the bedroom. He dropped onto the bed and took a few steadying breaths.

Scully. That's who he was talking to. It only made sense. He wanted advice from his partner on how to deal with his lover's growing insecurity.

Go back. Talk to him. Apologize. He'll tell you that he's been on the phone with Scully.

Instead of heading back toward the office, he lay down, curling himself around a pillow and stared at the wall.

###

Mulder entered the bedroom and peeked over Alex's back. It was hard to see in the darkness, but it looked as though he was asleep. He stripped down to his shorts and slipped into bed, behind his lover. He longed to fall asleep, wrapped around Alex, but kept his distance. He'd shied away from an overture once tonight, and Mulder just wasn't up to another rejection. He settled back against the pillows and closed his eyes.

Alex lay very still, listening as Mulder shifted time and again, trying to get comfortable. Finally his movements stilled and his respiration became steady and even. Even after he was sure that Mulder was asleep, Alex remained on his side, pillow clutched to his chest, staring into the darkness.

###

"Morning, Scully."

"Morning. You don't look so good. Bad start?"

"He was in a darker mood this morning, than he was last night. I tried to talk to him. He just blew me off, saying that he was okay. He's not okay, Scully. This thing with Richardson has really got him bent out of shape. I don't know what to do, other than what I told him I would do."

"Well, maybe once he knows that you actually talked to Richardson and told him to bug off, he'll feel better."

"I don't know. I hope so, but from the way he acted yesterday, I'm really... I'm not sure."

"See what today brings, Mulder, then take it from there. What else can you do?"

Mulder shook his head. "Nothing I can think of. By the way, sorry for calling so late, last night. I just didn't know what else to do..."

"I told you last night Mulder, don't worry about it. I had a feeling that this guy would be trouble."

"I thought for a little while there, that you might have had a thing for him," Mulder teased.

He's a handsome man. Very personable." She shrugged. "I thought he may have been paying a little extra attention to me, but I began to see that it might have just been an attempt to get next to you. And from what you told me last night, I'm sure of it."

"Uh huh. I'm not going to wait and see if he shows up or calls today. I'm going to find him."

"What are you going to tell him?"

"The truth. I don't think it's a good idea to see him anymore, outside of possible business."

"He's going to ask why."

"And I'll tell him that it's created problems in my personal life, and my relationship with Alex is more important to me than anything else."

"Sounds good. Any reasonable person would understand that."

"I don't think there'll be any problems after I talk to him."

"I hope not."

Mulder cocked his head. "You almost sound like Alex."

"Just seems to me, Mulder, than this guy is a little more persistent than most. Why did he ask to get together with you, right after Alex went to see him? Why did he say all the things he said? I think he's looking to cause trouble. Keep an eye out for it."

"I will."

Scully checked her watch. "Okay. Well, we got a meeting with Skinner in a few minutes... you did prepare for it, didn't you?"

"Yeah," He lifted two folders off of his desk. "I got the reports finished last night."

"Wow. With everything that went on, you still managed to get your work done?"

"Yep. I won't vouch for its accuracy, but..."

Scully patted his arm. "I'm sure Skinner'll let you know all about it. Let's go, before we're late."

###

"Richardson."

Mark Richardson turned in the direction of the low, masculine voice. He smiled as Mulder approached from the top of the stairs and descended to where he stood.

"Hey! Surprised to see you here."

Mulder steered him down the steps and off to a less crowded spot on the lawn, outside of the conference center.

"I got an hour and a half for lunch. Wanna grab something?"

"That's what I came here for. I can't."

Richardson laughed. "Let me get this straight. You came all the way over here, to tell me that you can't have lunch me? And we didn't have a lunch date to begin with?"

"What I mean, Richardson, is that I can't have lunch with you anymore."

"Oh. I see. Let me guess. Alex is pouting?"

"He's disturbed by it. And I don't want to do that to him."

Richardson looked away. "No, no. Wouldn't want to disturb Alex baby..."

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. What did you say?"

"Hmm? Oh, nothing. Well, what can I say? You gotta do what you gotta do, right? Having a harmless, friendly relationship isn't worth you sleeping on the sofa. You gotta live with the man and I can see where he could make life pretty miserable for you, if you crossed him..."

"Alex isn't an unreasonable or vindictive man. And I'd thank you not to make him sound that way. I love him and if something bothers him, it bothers me."

"Hey," Richardson held his hands up. "Sorry man, no offense, okay? I just call em like I see em. You know him better than me, obviously, and if you're happy with your life, who am I to say anything to the contrary? Tell Alex he can relax. I have no intention to try and take you away from him."

Mulder nodded curtly. "Fine. I gotta go."

"Okay, then. Sorry for all the trouble."

He watched Mulder turn and leave, a tiny smile glued to his lips.

"Try? Ha!"

Mulder entered the silent house and looked around. No sign of Alex. He moved down the hall, looking in room after room. Finding each one empty, he headed toward the yard.

Alex squatted between a row of tomato plants, staking the quickly growing stalks, to keep them from falling over. He neither heard nor felt Mulder's approach and when the older man spoke, he spun quickly to his feet.

"Sorry," Mulder reached out, touching his arm.

Alex took a few steadying breaths and glanced at his watch. "I... I didn't realize it was this time already. Sorry, I guess dinner is going to be late." He started to move past Mulder, but was stopped by a gentle hand around his upper arm.

"Forget about dinner. We can send out for something, later. I want to talk to you."

"About?"

"Richardson. I saw him today. Told him there'd be no more lunches."

Alex stared at a spot on the ground, just beyond where Mulder stood. "I'm sure dinners would do just as well..." He raised his eyebrows. "Breakfast'd be even better."

"Alex, stop it. Listen to me. He can want whatever the hell it is that he wants. It doesn't matter. Wanting isn't getting. He'll never get me. I made myself very clear. Said what I had to say, then left. This is done. Over. Okay?"

Still avoiding Mulder's eye, Alex nodded.

"Alex, what is it? I thought this'd make you happy."

"I... I am. It's just... it's... I'm sorry I put you through this."

"S'okay. It's done. Let's just forget about it. Can we do that?"

"Yeah."

"Alex," Mulder called softly. "Look at me."

Sad green eyes flicked up and away, three times, before settling on steady hazel.

"I missed you, last night. When I got to bed, you were asleep."

Alex looked away briefly, then back.

"I wanted to put my arms around you and pull you against me, but I was afraid to."

"Afraid?"

"Yeah. When we got back from the restaurant, I started to move toward you in the living room, but you turned away and went into the bedroom. In eighteen months, you've never turned away from me. That stung. I wasn't really up for another rejection, so I kept my distance."

Alex drew in an unsteady breath and released it. "I'm sorry," he said on the exhale. "I'm really... Christ, I'm... so stupid... I didn't mean..."

Mulder stepped forward and reached out to stroke his hair. "It's all right. Forget it. Can we just get back to our life?"

Alex nodded mutely.

Mulder traced the bottom swell of his lip with his thumb. "I want to kiss you, Lexei. I haven't kissed you since yesterday. I haven't... touched you. I can't... I need to."

Alex took two steps forward, right into his lover's waiting arms. Their lips met in a surprisingly tender kiss. One that shook Alex to the ground. "I'm sorry," he murmured against Fox's mouth. "I'm sorry, I'm s..."

The rest of his apology was muffled by Mulder's mouth, again covering his. But this time, the kiss was much more demanding and Alex gave in easily to it, winding one arm around his lover's neck and plunging his free hand into the soft golden-brown hair.

Mulder pulled Alex tightly against him. He fed hungrily on the younger man's lips, stripping away all residual insecurities and fears, leaving only want and a need so strong, it bordered on desperation.

Alex whimpered in protest as Fox tore his mouth away, but a whimper was all he had time for, before he was spun around and pushed to his knees in the dirt.

"Don't move."

He remained, shaking on his knees, as he heard the quick retreat and return. The next thing he heard was the clinking of a belt, then the soft monotone again, right behind him.

"Pull your pants down."

Alex quickly obeyed and when he was done, was pushed forward so that he was now down on his hands and knees, hidden from casual view, by the tangle of plants around him. Mulder kneeled behind him and ran a hand up his back, then down, stroking and caressing the taut muscles of his ass. Alex moaned softly, wiggling against Mulder's touch. The hand left his skin momentarily, then returned, this time gliding down the cleft and teasing the tight opening

Alex gritted his teeth and pushed back, trying to impale himself on the slick, probing fingers. Mulder obliged him, pushing two fingers into him at once, forcing a low, drawn-out groan from his throat. Alex bucked against the hand, forcing Mulder's fingers in, up to the last knuckle, then continued to rock, his cries growing louder and more demanding, with every thrust.

Mulder leaned over his back and began to withdraw his fingers from the clutching muscles. "Easy, Lexei," he whispered as Alex fought the retreat.

"Nooo," Alex whined, as the presence inside him was completely removed.

"I've got something better for you," Mulder promised, as he grasped his thickly lubricated cock and guided it to the prepared opening.

Alex's head snapped back and he cried out into the late afternoon air, as he felt his lover's cock stretch and enter him in one smooth stroke.

"Sshhhh baby," Mulder whispered unevenly into his ear as he set a slow, easy rhythm. "The neighbors'll hear."

"Fuck the neighbors."

Mulder let out a short, hoarse laugh as he continued to move. "That's my Alex."

"Hard... harder, Fox..."

Mulder picked up the pace, grunting softly at the sensation of his balls slapping against the backs of his lover's thighs. He reached down and wrapped his fingers firmly around Alex's cock.

"God... oh yeah... do me, Fox. I'm ready..."

Mulder began to stroke Alex's cock with his lube-slick hand as he continued to pump his ass. Alex cried out again and again, jerking his hips back and forth, forcing Mulder into a wild pace.

"Alex..." Mulder thrashed against the younger man, trying desperately to hold back the scream that was forming in his throat. He pressed his face into Alex's back in an effort to muffle the sound when it came, but Alex's cries errupted at almost the same moment, echoing around the yard and beyond.

Alex collapsed to the ground and Mulder fell on top of him, pressing his body into the cool, soft dirt. After several minutes, Mulder stirred, lifting himself off of his lover and helping him into a sitting position. He smiled softly, brushing some dirt away from Alex's cheek. "Sorry," he whispered. "Guess this wasn't the best place in the world for that."

Alex displayed a lazy, satisfied grin. "You kidding? I love it when we just drop down and do it wherever we are."

"Doesn't say much about self-control, does it?"

"I don't care," Alex murmured into his shoulder. "I'll start worrying when you're suddenly able to control your impulses."

Mulder kissed his temple. "I love you."

Alex turned and met his eye. "I love you," he whispered hoarsely.

Another kiss. "I think we could do with a shower,"

Alex nodded in agreement. He rose to his feet and pulled Mulder up after him. They pulled their clothing into some semblance of order, then headed, arms wound around each other's waists, to the house.

###

The next night

"Hello?"

No answer.

Alex's voice lost some of its sleepy quality and took on an edge of insistence. "Hello?"

Click.

Mulder raised his head from the pillow. "Who was it?"

Wide awake now, Alex drummed his fingers on his leg. "I don't know. But this is the third time since yesterday. I'm getting a little fed up."

"Probably just some kids fooling around. They'll get tired and move on to a new number."

Alex fought hard to keep the thoughts from entering his head. So far, he was losing ground. "I don't know."

"Don't know what?" Mulder's nearly incoherent voice drifted up from amongst the pillows.

"It's never happened before."

Mulder reached up and pulled Alex down beside him. He tucked an arm around the younger man's waist and nestled his head against his chest. "Go back to sleep."

Alex absently stroked the head under his chin and stared up at the ceiling.

###

"C'mon Fox, you're gonna be late!"

Mulder sauntered into the kitchen, tie undone, sorting through an armload of paperwork.

"I hate this, I really hate this..." he muttered to himself. "I can't find that Raleigh file that I was working on, just yesterday..."

Alex sighed and took the papers from him. "Sit down and eat. I'll look for it."

As Mulder picked through breakfast, Alex searched. "Fox," he dropped the last paper back into the pile. "It's not here. Are you sure you didn't leave it at the office?"

"No, I..." a sudden thought came to his mind. "Shit. I did."

Alex rolled his eyes and walked toward the sink.

"Oops."

"Yeah, oops. I don't..."

The ringing phone interrupted the beginning of his speech.

"Hello?... Who's me?" He pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it for a second, then hung up.

Noticing his disturbed expression, Mulder asked, "Who was it?"

"I don't know... whoever it was, he was whispering very softly."

"What'd they say?"

"Just, 'it's me'. When I asked who 'me' was, they hung up." He glanced at Mulder, then looked away.

"And you didn't recognize the voice?"

"I wasn't really paying close attention..." The muscle in his jaw began to work convulsively. "..and as I said, he was whispering very softly."

Mulder nodded. "Well... I gotta go." He rose from the table and gathered up his paperwork, slipping it into a large folder. "I'll see you later." He approached the younger man, who still stood leaning against the sink. Threading a hand through his hair, he pulled Alex forward and planted a long, thorough kiss on his lips. He drew back slightly, dropped another light kiss on Alex's nose, then turned and left.

Alex remained where he stood, a good long time, playing and replaying the voice in his head, trying to prove or disprove his theory about who it belonged to. When his head began to ache, he abandoned his efforts and went about his daily business.

###

Scully gathered up her jacket and headed for the door. "Ready?"

"Yeah," Mulder said, shutting his computer down. "You go on ahead, I'll be right there. Just gotta hit the head."

"Okay, I'll meet you at the car."

Mulder followed her out the door and took a left down the hall, leading to the men's room. Ten seconds later, Mark Richardson pushed at the partially open office door and peeked inside. Visually confirming that the office was empty, he quickly slipped inside and scanned the room.

"Oh, yeah..." He spotted Mulder's suit jacket, thrown across the back of his chair and crept over to it. He held the garment up to his face, inhaling deeply. "Mmmmm." Searching the inside pockets, he found what he was looking for. He pulled Mulder's wallet out and quickly rooted through it. He yanked the agent's driver's license from the wallet, stuffed it into his own pocket, then replaced the wallet and laid the jacket carefully, back across the chair. "This is the most fun I've ever had at a seminar," he mumbled to himself, before slipping quietly out of the office.

###

Alex answered the phone and was greeted by the apologetic voice of his lover.

"It's me, Lexei."

"Let me guess. You're going to be late."

"Afraid so." He spoke above the blare of sirens, behind him. "Can you hear me?"

"Yeah."

"There's been another murder."

"Jeez. Same thing?"

"Looks that way. Listen, don't hold dinner and don't wait up, okay? I have no idea how long I'm going to be."

"Okay. So, I guess I'll see you when I see you, huh?"

"Yeah. I gotta go. Scully is calling me. Uh... everything okay?"

"Yeah, fine."

"All right. Night, babe."

"Bye."

Alex disconnected and looked down at the dinner he'd already started. He shrugged. "Maybe he'll eat it anyway, if he doesn't get in, too late." He covered the prepared chicken and popped it into the oven.

###

"Morning, babe."

"You sound exhausted."

"Been a long night."

"You coming home?"

"No, not right now. I still got some work to do."

"Fox, don't push it, okay? You gotta get some sleep."

"I won't be here all day. But I really do have to get this wrapped up first. I just wanted to call and check in."

"Okay. Well, get your work done and get your ass home. I'll give you a nice warm bath, maybe a massage..."

Mulder groaned softly into the phone. "I'll get through this as fast as I can."

"See you soon."

Alex hung up and as he was turning away from the phone, it rang again. He smiled, sure that it was Fox again. He snatched up the phone.

"Yeeees?"

A perky female voice responded. "Good morning, Mr. Mulder..."

Alex tried to inform the girl that she wasn't speaking to Mr. Mulder, but she rattled on at a breakneck pace, keeping him from getting a word in, edgewise.

"... this is Amy from the Monument Hotel. Housekeeping found your license this morning while cleaning in one of the rooms, and we just thought we'd let you know that it was here. So whenever you'd like to pick it up, or if it's more convenient, we could messenger it to you..."

Alex held the phone in a death grip, his knuckles turning white, as he listened to the girl rattle on. When she was through, he asked softly, "The room... the room you found it in... that was Mr. Richardson's room..."

"Uh... yes! Yes, it was. Will you be by to get it?"

"Um, yeah. Yeah. At some point. If there's a change in plans, I'll let you know."

"All righty then. You have a good day, Mr. Mulder."

Alex let the phone fall into the cradle and leaned against the wall for support. His head moved slowly, from side to side. "No," he whispered to himself. "No, no, no, no..."

###

Mulder trudged into the house, glazed, blood-shot eyes searching for his lover.

"Alex?"

No answer.

He was home, his pickup was in the garage. Mulder called again. Still no answer. He headed for the backyard and found Alex slouched in a chair on the patio, staring blankly into the yard. He touched the back of the seated man's head.

"Hey. You didn't hear me calling you?"

No response.

Mulder frowned, moving to Alex's front and squatting before him.

"Lexei? What's wrong?"

Dull green eyes rose to his and stared.

Mulder placed a hand on his thigh and rubbed gently. "Talk to me."

Alex spoke in a flat, listless tone. "Scully drive you home?"

"No. I had my own car, why would Scully drive me?"

"I didn't think you'd want to be driving around without your license."

"What?"

"Oh, you haven't realized yet, that you lost it."

"I lost my license?" Mulder patted his jacket, feeling for his wallet. He pulled it out of the inner breast pocket and looked through it. He looked up at Alex. "It's not here. How did you know?"

"Got a call this morning. Someone found it."

"Where?"

"Why didn't you come home, last night?"

Mulder inclined his head a fraction and drew his eyebrows together. "I was working. I told you that."

"Not all night."

"Yes, all night."

"You took some time for a break."

"Alex... where do you think I was last night? Who found my license?"

"You're going to play this out to the very end, aren't you?"

Irritation laced the tired man's tone. "Alex, I don't know what the hell you're talking about. Who found my license?"

"The Monument Hotel."

Mulder shrugged, shaking his head.

"It was found at the Monument Hotel... in Mark Richardson's room."

"What?"

Alex continued to stare.

"Oh, and you think that I... Alex... tell me you don't believe that I spent the night with Richardson."

"What was your driver's license doing there in his room?"

"I don't know, but I wasn't there! I didn't even know where he was staying!"

Alex hurled himself out of the chair, practically knocking Mulder to the ground.

"Stop it Fox, okay? Just knock it the fuck off!"

Mulder watched, dumbfounded, as Alex began to pace.

"When did it start? Hmm? When? While you were on that case with him? No, couldn't have been. He would have bragged about it when I went to see him. So... it must have been after... huh... tell me... was it him you were on the phone with the other night?"

"Alex, you're not being rational."

"Answer me! The night we went out to eat and you got that drink from an admirer... you were on the phone later, in your office. Were you talking to him? Making plans?"

"I was talking to Scully! And if you were there, eavesdropping, thinking it was him I was talking to, why didn't you come in and bust me?"

"Because I wasn't sure! I didn't want to believe that it was him. Then everytime I picked up the phone after that, the caller would hang up. Well, except for yesterday when he must have thought it was you who answered, then realized it wasn't and hung up. Awfully suspicious, wouldn't you say, Agent Mulder? Now, you spend the night out on a case, and your license turns up the next morning, in Richardson's hotel room! You tell me. What the fuck am I supposed to think?"

"You're supposed to believe me when I tell you, I never spent the night with Richardson. That the extent of my relationship with him was one case in common, and two lunches. You're supposed to look in my eyes and know that when I tell you that there's a logical explanation for all of this, I'm telling you the truth!"

"What's the logical explanation, Fox? Tell me. I'm listening."

Mulder closed his eyes and shook his head. "I don't know. But I'll find out."

"You mean, you'll think one up."

Mulder stared at him, disbelief glittering in his eyes. "What the hell is wrong with you? A year and a half ago, I gave you my heart and my soul... and my trust. I thought you did the same." He looked around. "We bought this house together. Made a home. We promised our lives to each other. Now someone as inconsequential as Mark Richardson is trying to fuck that all up and you're allowing it. I thought we meant more to you than that."

Alex glared at him. "I thought we meant more to you. How was he, Fox? I never did him, but I heard stories about his expertise. Is all the hype true?"

Mulder stared for a few seconds more, then his eyes dropped away. He raised a hand and turned toward the house. "I can't... I can't do this with you..."

Alex threw his hands up. "And hell, why would you want to? After you've done it with him..."

Mulder continued on his way, taking out the lamp on the end table with a vicious swipe of his arm.

Alex ignored the crash and followed the other man halfway into the room. He watched as Mulder picked up his keys and moved toward the front door.

"Don't forget your license," he yelled, as the door slammed shut.

###

"Mulder, what are you doing here? I thought you were going home?"

"I did. But I couldn't... I couldn't stay."

Scully stepped aside as allowed her partner to enter.

"What the hell happened?"

He spun to face Scully. "Alex thinks I slept with Richardson."

"What? Why?"

Mulder dropped onto the sofa and covered his eyes with his hands. "Somehow, my license turned up this morning at the hotel he's staying at... in his room. Alex took the call from the hotel this morning and he's really gone around the bend."

"Did you tell him you weren't there?"

He looked up at Scully. "Of course I did! He doesn't believe me."

"Well, I'll tell him, then."

"No."

"What do you mean, no? I can straighten this out, Mulder. You never left my sight for more than a few seconds, last night."

"I don't want you pleading my case. He needs to believe me. That he doesn't, just shows what little trust he actually has in me." He closed his eyes and lowered his head. "I can't believe this," he whispered. "I thought we were... I thought..."

Scully took a seat beside him and squeezed his shoulder. "Mulder... let me tell you something. Something you really should have known or at least had a clue about. For a good many years, Alex was alone. He had only himself. Nobody to talk to, nobody to trust. Suspicious of everyone and everything. His survival depended on that. Then, and I'm still trying to figure out how it happened, but you two got together. And I could see the love grow between you. He worships you Mulder, and he's become a much different person because of you, but it's hard to completely change those survival instincts. Forgive the comparison, but it's like trying to domesticate a mountain lion."

Mulder looked up at her out of the corner of his eye.

"Okay, maybe not exactly like that, but you get my point. He can't help his suspicion or his insecurity, Mulder."

"But in eighteen months, he's never acted like this, before."

"It was always there beneath the surface, there's just never been a reason for it to come out, before. It took years to ingrain those instincts in him, Mulder. It's not gonna take just a few months to make 'em go away. You gotta have a little more patience."

"I want to Scully. I've tried. It's him that I want. Only him. I don't know how many more ways I can say it to him."

"You have to keep trying till you find the right way... if you want to save your relationship. And I know you do. And where is Richardson in all of this? Seems to me, he's the one who should be in the hot seat, here."

"I don't know. After what I just went through with Alex, I couldn't think about anything else."

She pushed the hair back from his forehead, only to watch it flop stubbornly back into place. "You look like you're about to drop. Why don't you crash here on the sofa? I was just about to have a nap, myself. Maybe once we've both had a little rest, we can tackle this thing more rationally."

Mulder nodded slowly. Scully patted his hand as she rose to her feet, then moved off toward her bedroom.

"Don't worry. It'll be okay."

Mulder dropped onto his side and closed his eyes. "I hope so, Scully," he murmured, then dropped into a heavy sleep.

###

Four and a half hours later

Scully stood outside Mulder and Alex's house, ringing the bell.

No answer.

She hesitated, then pulled the key out of her bag. Taking a deep breath, she unlocked the door and stepped into the house.

"Alex? It's me, Scully. You here?"

More silence.

She moved through the house, checking room after room, then decided to try the yard. She frowned, noting the mangled lamp on the floor of the living room, and proceeded to the patio. The mess that greeted her eyes, made her jaw go slack. The garden. The beautiful garden that Alex had worked so hard to build, lay before her in shambles. Movement from the left caught her eye. It was Alex, ripping stringbean plants out of the ground and hurling them into the air.

"Oh, my God."

Scully moved cautiously toward him, calling his name.

"Alex... Alex?"

The third utterance of his name snapped his head in her direction.

"Alex, what..." She looked around in disbelief. "Why are you doing this?"

Wild green eyes stared through her and she couldn't help being reminded of the comparison she'd made this morning, of him to a mountain lion. He stood, chest heaving, dirty and scratched, making not a sound except for the occasional rasp of air that pushed past his constricted throat.

"Alex..." She held a hand out to him. "Stop this."

"Why?" He drew his eyebrows together, "What does it matter?"

"You're going to snap out of this state you've worked yourself into, and then you're going to hate yourself when you realize what it is you've done."

He shrugged, laughing bitterly. "What have I done, Scully? Pulled up a few plants? Chopped up a few bushes? Big deal. Big fat, fucking deal!"

"It's more than that Alex, and you know it!"

"No, it isn't. Anything more than this was just an illusion. A beautiful world I built up in my head."

"That's not true, Alex. You and Mulder are real. I never in a million years could've imagined it, but... just stop this, okay? Come sit down and talk to me."

Alex stood immobile, clenching limp strands of string beans in both hands.

Scully inched closer and touched his arm. "Come on."

Slowly, she led Alex through the mess and, righting one of the four chairs he'd knocked over, sat him down. She pulled another chair upright and dropped into it.

"Mulder would kill me if he knew I was here..."

"So, why are you?"

"Because he's miserable. And I knew you would be, too."

Alex looked away.

"He's at my apartment, Alex. I left him there, asleep. He came there this morning after your fight." She waited for some reaction. Got none, and went on. "He was at the crime scene all night, with me. Your accusations are groundless, Alex, not to mention completely crazy. You hurt him... are you listening to me?"

Alex looked up at her. "His license was found in Richardson's room this morning. What'd it do, hop out of his wallet, and hitch a ride downtown?"

Scully raked a hand through her hair and sighed. "I don't know how it got there. And neither does Mulder."

Alex jerked his head to the side.

"I know what this looks like and it's easy to believe what seems so obvious, but this is where trust comes in. If you love him and want to keep him, you have to trust him."

"I did trust him," Alex hissed sharply. "And look what it got me."

"Trust doesn't always equal hurt, Alex."

"No? Then why do I hurt so much right now?"

"You're hurting needlessly. Mulder did nothing wrong. And it's killing him that you don't believe that."

Alex lowered his gaze to the ground, clenching and unclenching his hands.

"Mark Richardson is the man we need to concentrate on, here. He's at the bottom of this mess. I don't know how, but he had to have gotten hold of Mulder's license somehow... I know what you told Mulder about him. Is he the type of man who'd go so far as to do something like this to cause trouble?"

Alex massaged his temple with the knuckles of one hand. "Absolutely."

"Well, there you go."

"Scully, Richardson is a heartless, manipulative jerk, but he's not Houdini. "How did he get Fox's license out of his wallet without his knowledge?"

"I don't know. If you believe it fell out of his wallet at Richardson's hotel, why couldn't it have fallen out at the restaurant they had lunch at? Or in the office, one day while he was there? Richardson could have picked it up and kept it till he thought the time was right to cause trouble."

"Maybe."

"That's a hundred times more believable to me than Mulder being in his hotel room. How about you?"

Silence.

"Alex?"

Alex's knee began to bounce up and down. His head came up and he looked out at the aftermath of his rampage. His throat worked convulsively and a bright gleam appeared in his eyes. "Jesus."

Scully just barely heard the whispered regret. She placed a hand on his shoulder and kneaded gently.

He turned his head to her and asked in a small voice, "What am I going to do?"

"What do you want to do?"

"I want to back this day up about seven hours and do it over again."

"Okay, what do you want to do, that you're able to do?"

"I want to go to him. Tell him I'm sorry... beg him to come home..."

Scully smiled. "Then go do it."

Alex looked out into the yard, again. "I... I don't want him to see this..."

Scully got to her feet. "Come on, I'll help you clean it up."

He looked up at her in a bit of a daze.

"Come on." She grasped his hand and pulled him up and into the garden.

Almost two hours later, everything was gathered up, put through the shredder and placed into the mulching bin. What was left over was piled neatly beside the bin. Alex looked around at his nearly empty garden.

"Months of work shot to hell in one afternoon... by the same lunatic who did all the work in the first place." He turned to Scully, again on the verge of tears. "You're right. I hate myself."

"I knew you would. So see, you're not quite the lunatic you think you are. If you were, you'd be too crazy to feel bad about what you'd done." Scully rubbed his back. "Don't worry, Alex. It isn't like you contaminated the soil. You can replant. Now you have some experience. You know what to do to make it flourish and you know what to avoid to keep it from dying. And your second effort will be more beautiful than your first."

"Thanks, Scully. Not only for helping me clean this up, but for the advice."

"No problem. Now why don't you go get cleaned up so we can go?"

"Okay."

Halfway into the living room, Alex stopped. "Scully?"

"Yeah?"

"What if I apologize and he doesn't accept it? What if he doesn't want to come home?"

"He will." She clapped her hands and shooed him into the hall. "Now, get going."

Twenty minutes later, they were on their way to Scully's apartment. When they arrived, Scully got out of her car and walked over to Alex, who was still in his truck, hands gripped tightly around the wheel.

"Come on," she coaxed. "You don't have to be afraid."

"I am, though. If he doesn't want to talk to me... if he doesn't want to come home..."

"He will. Now, come on!"

Finally, with a little more coaxing from Scully, they reached her apartment. Scully unlocked the door and walked in, followed at a distance, by Alex. She looked around at the empty apartment, then at Alex.

"Maybe he's in the bathroom. Mulder?" She called, moving down the hall. "Mulder?" A short silence, then she returned, alone. "He's not here."

Alex bowed his head and let out a heavy sigh.

"Maybe he went back home," she offered. We could have passed each other, you know."

"Yeah. Maybe."

"He must have. Where else would he go?"

There was more to her question than just the obvious. Alex bit his lower lip and turned away.

"Alex... you're not thinking..."

"N-no. No." He shook his head. "Like you said, he probably went home. To pack his clothes... or my clothes..."

"Or to talk."

"You didn't see the way he left. He was done talking to me."

"He was hurt and upset. But maybe after a few hours sleep, he thought better of it. Why don't you go home? I'll bet he's there right now, wondering where you are."

Alex nodded. "Yeah. Thanks, Scully."

She gave him a sympathetic smile. "It'll be okay, Alex. Trust me. Go on. Go to him and get this straightened out."

After she sent Alex on his way, Scully leaned up against the door, banging her head against it.

"Shit, shit, shit."

She snatched up her keys and left the apartment.

###

Mark Richardson's eyes widened as he opened his door. Quickly, he summoned a smile to his face.

"Hey! Wh-what are you doing here? How'd you know where I was?"

Mulder walked past him and entered the room, looking around. "Wasn't hard. The doorman at the Monument'll tell you just about anything you want to know, for a twenty. Why'd you move?"

Richardson shrugged. "I didn't care for the Monument. Lousy service."

"Really? I think they served you, very well."

"What do you mean?"

"How'd my license wind up in your room?"

"Huh?"

"Cut the shit, Richardson, how'd you do it?"

"Do what? Mulder, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Sure, you do. Somehow, you managed to get hold of my driver's license and plant it in your room, for housekeeping to find this morning, knowing that they'd call my house."

"I did no such thing, Mulder. I mean, how would I? Did it ever occur to you that Alex may have done it, to try and convince you that I was up to no good? To make sure that you stayed away from me?"

"Bullshit."

"Really? As wigged out as he is over the fact that we had lunch together? How do you know that he wouldn't pull a stunt like that? I wouldn't put it past him..."

"How the hell would you know what he would and wouldn't do?"

"Look. Mulder. I understand that you wouldn't want to believe Alex capable of something so low, but... if he's that insecure, who knows? Poor guy. I think you ought to consider getting him some help..."

"No, you're the one who needs help."

"That must have been some fight you guys had to get you this upset. Listen, why don't we go get a drink or something? Calm your nerves. Maybe it'll help you see things a little clearer..."

"That's just a little old, isn't it Richardson?"

"What is?"

"The bourbon and sympathy ploy. Ply me with liquor, then sashay me back here for a little fun?" He spat out an acid laugh. "Not even in your wildest dreams, pal. There isn't enough liquor in Washington, to get me into bed with you."

"You got it all wrong."

Mulder shook his head. "The only thing I had wrong was the way I treated Alex, behind this whole thing. You're every bit the conniver he said you were. I don't know how you got your hands on my license and at this point, I don't care. What matters is, you failed. You didn't get me, and you have not split Alex and me up. Now spare yourself any further embarrassment and give it up."

Richardson emitted a loud, snorting chuckle. The facade was gone. "Well you know, you win some, you lose some. And you know, that goes both ways."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"My original description of Alex's personality was no lie. I don't believe for half a second, that this hasn't affected him. In fact, I'm willing to bet that it's driving him crazy... crazier than he already is. He'll be suspicious of you from now on. It'll just be a matter of time, before you've had all you can take." He smirked. "You won't stay together for much longer... if you really are still together now..."

Mulder's hands clenched at his side. "Alex was right. You are a sleazy bastard."

Richardson smirked. "Answer me a question, would you, Mulder? Is he the only man you've ever been with? If he is, then that might explain things. See, I'm trying to figure out what the hell it is that's got you so loyal to this nut. I think he is your first. Tsk, tsk. You don't know what you're missing. I could show you things Alex has never even heard of. Might just put things in a different perspective for you. And you'll end up thanking me for being the one who gave you your wake up call." He took one step toward Mulder and lowered his voice to its most seductive tone. "What do you say? Give me two hours and I guarantee at the end of it, you won't even remember his name."

He never saw the blow coming. He started to sink to the floor, but a hand clenched in his shirt, prevented him. Jerked him up and held him as the second blow compounded the already excruciating pain, and the third, numbed his face and knocked him across the room and onto the bed. He tried to focus on the infuriated man standing above him. A low, angry growl filtered through the ringing in his ears.

"Stay away from me, and stay the fuck away from Alex. If I have even the slightest idea that you're messing with him in some way, you'll get a lot worse than what I've given you, today. Do you understand me?"

Richardson nodded, wincing with the pain that the movement brought.

"I'm not kidding, Richardson. Leave Alex alone. You'd do well not to test me."

Mulder turned and stalked out without another word, slamming the door behind him.

###

"Who is it?"

A muffled, "It's me," came from the other side of Scully's door.

She threw it open and immediately began to shout at the man outside. "Mulder, where have you been and what the bloody hell are you doing back here?" She looked down at the hand he was cradling with the other. "And what happened to your hand?"

Mulder looked up through a curtain of golden-brown lashes. "I went to get my license. And then I tracked Richardson down."

She pulled him inside. "And?"

He shrugged. "I confronted him. He denied everything... at first... then he got arrogant. Said a bunch of stuff I didn't like... I cold-cocked him, told him to keep the hell away from me and Alex... then I left."

"You hit him?"

"He pissed me off."

Scully couldn't help the smile that came to her lips. "I should be shaking my finger at you, but I can't. Whatever he said, I'm sure he deserved what he got. The snake. Come on, let me take care of this for you." She inspected the hand, made him move all the fingers, then announced that nothing was broken. She pulled him into the kitchen and made him sit for a while, with a bag of ice on his hand, then led him to the bathroom and cleaned up the blood. "You cut up these two knuckles pretty good."

"Must've cut em on his teeth."

"God Mulder, did you at least leave them in his mouth?"

Mulder shrugged.

Scully finished cleaning the wounds, then bandaged his hand. "You never answered my second question. What are you doing, here? Why didn't you go home? Tell me you didn't go home and now you're back here."

"No, I didn't go home."

"Why not?"

"Alex was so upset. I don't know how to begin to try to convince him that he's wrong, without upsetting him even more."

Scully wrinkled her nose and squinted. "Uh, Mulder?"

"What?"

"Don't get mad, okay?"

"What'd you do?"

"You know how you told me not to go talk to him?"

"You went to talk to him."

"While you were asleep."

Mulder opened his mouth, but before any sound could come out, Scully was talking again.

"I'm sorry Mulder, I couldn't stand by and do nothing when there was a chance that I could help."

"Scully..."

"You were so unhappy when you got here, earlier..."

"Scully..."

"And I knew that if I could just talk to Alex..."

"Scully!"

"Yeah?"

Mulder heaved a long sigh. "What happened?"

She smiled at him. "He came back here, with me. But of course, you were gone. I sent him back home, hoping that maybe you'd gone there. And in the meantime, I went out looking for you. Needless to say, I didn't find you. I couldn't reach you on your cell..."

"I don't have it with me. He came back here with you?"

"Yes. To talk."

Mulder lowered his head and said nothing.

"Go home, Mulder. It's been two hours since he left here. He must be going crazy, wondering where you are. I'm surprised he hasn't called me."

"Are you sure he wants me there, Scully?"

"Yes, for the love of God!" She turned Mulder around and shoved him toward the door. "Now would you get the hell out of here!"

Mulder stopped in the doorway and turned back toward her. "Thanks, Scully. For interfering."

"No problem." She smiled sweetly, then slammed the door in his face.

###

Mulder carefully unlocked the door, wincing at the pain in his hand. It was beginning to throb, but he pushed the pain aside and quietly entered the house. He moved slowly, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness. As he made his way to the living room, he saw a figure seated at the far end of the sofa, softly outlined by the evening light coming in through the sliding doors. He moved cautiously toward the motionless form, stopping just a few feet away.

Alex sat silently, hands folded neatly in his lap, head tilted downward. The sudden feeling of a presence beside him, brought his head up. His eyes rose to Mulder's face, unable to see his eyes in the darkness.

Silence hung for what seemed like any eternity, between the two men, neither knowing what to say or even how to begin. Finally, it was Mulder who spoke.

"Scully said that you'd gone to her apartment to talk to me."

Alex nodded slowly, again lowering his head.

"When we didn't find you there, she figured you must have come back here. S-so I came right back. That was a few hours ago..." He fell silent, picking at a non-existent thread on the leg of his jeans.

"And you've been sitting here in the dark ever since?"

No answer.

"You think I've been with Richardson the past few hours, don't you?"

Again, Alex gave no answer, but his heart began to pound in dreaded anticipation.

Mulder released a long, soft sigh. "I was with him..."

The glittering slits of green disappeared and Alex's head hung lower.

Mulder kneeled in front of Alex and rested his hands on the other man's knees. "I was with him, Alex, but not for the reason you're thinking... he moved to another hotel this morning. I tracked him down and confronted him about this business with my license. He didn't come right out and admit to it, but I'm positive that somehow he got hold of it and planted it there as a means to drive you nuts and hopefully put a wedge between us. He made a pass at me. Said a bunch of things about you that ticked me off... I hit him..." Alex's head rose a fraction. "... I gave him a warning he's too smart to ignore, and I left."

Alex's eyes opened and the first thing that caught his eye was Mulder's bandaged hand. He reached out to touch it, then drew away.

"You hurt your hand when you hit him?"

"Yeah. Scully said nothing was broken, but I guess I really should put some more ice on in."

Before he could say another word, Alex was off the sofa and heading for the kitchen. Mulder followed and found him wrapping some ice cubes in a dish towel.

"You should have done this as soon as you got in," Alex said, finishing his task. He handed the bundle to Mulder, but did not meet his eye.

"Thanks." Mulder put the compress down on the table and unwrapped his hand. There was a fair amount of swelling and by the looks of things, there was going to be quite a bruise. Alex glanced at the wound, then turned away, rocking back and forth.

"Tell me what I've done to make you think the worst of me," Mulder asked softly, as he leaned against the counter, holding the ice to his hand.

"Nothing."

"Then, why?"

Alex displayed a mirthless smile. "Don't know. Must be the insanity kicking in."

"You're not crazy."

"No?" Alex wrapped his arms around himself and then began to rock from side to side, rolling against the other end of the counter. "Guess Scully didn't fill you in about the garden."

"What about it?"

Alex gave no response. He only continued to rock slowly, with his head tilted down toward the floor.

Fairly certain that reiterating the question would only garner more silence, Mulder moved carefully around Alex and out to the yard. He flipped on the flood lights and stood, shocked, looking around at the almost bare garden. When he'd regained his composure, he re-entered the house. He found Alex in the same spot in which he'd left him.

"What happened?" Mulder asked softly. "You worked so hard to make the yard beautiful. Why'd you ruin it?"

"It's what I do... ruin things..." He began to mumble to himself. "What the hell made me think I could have something good? Do one good deed after years of bad, and I start to think I can have the world. Stupid, fucked up bastard..."

Mulder dropped the ice pack down behind him and walked toward Alex. "Don't talk like that. You came through Alex, when it really counted. Millions of lives were saved and that couldn't have happened without you. That wasn't some little boyscout's good deed for the day. You're a good man. Decent and caring..." he stopped when he was standing directly in front of Alex. "..loving." He reached out to touch the heavily stubbled face, but Alex turned away.

"Don't touch me."

"Why not?"

"I don't deserve it."

He turned and fled the room.

It took Mulder a second to register what had just happened and then he was after Alex, following him down the hall to the bedroom. He came in as the other man was pulling a suitcase out of the closet.

"What are you doing?"

"I can't stay here, I can't..."

Mulder stepped forward and took the suitcase away, just as Alex dropped it on the bed.

"You're not going anywhere."

"Give it back."

"No. This is your home."

"It's your home. I was just passing through."

"Bullshit. You make this home, Alex. If you're not here, I'm not here."

Alex spun toward the dresser and started pulling clothes out. "This was a dream, Fox. That's all it was..."

Mulder came up behind him and wrapped his arms tightly around his chest, pinning his arms to his sides. "Lexei... stop it. This is no dream. It's real. We hit a little bump, that's all."

Alex struggled against the man who fought to restrain him. "You were so fed up with my shit, you left. That's no little bump. Let me go!"

"No! I'll never let you go, Lexei..."

"Don't call me that!"

"Why?"

"I'm Alex Krycek. Double crossing, murdering, hateful, low-life."

Mulder tightened his hold. "No, you're not. You're my sweet, fun-loving, wise-cracking, beautiful, Lexei. And I love you..."

"Stop!"

"And you love me."

Alex pushed again, but Mulder's grip was too tight.

"I don't hear any denials, Lexei. You can't, can you?"

"Please, let me go."

"Tell me you don't love me."

"How can I love you? If I did, would I do what I did to you this morning? If I did, I would have trusted you!"

"Then say it."

No response.

"Say it!"

Alex's head dropped and he started to tremble. Mulder's grip on him loosened and he turned the younger man around to face him. He wrapped his arms around him again, this time in a tender embrace, which proved to be Alex's undoing. His hands clenched in Mulder's shirt and he began to cry.

Mulder held Alex securely to him with one arm while he stroked the soft, sable hair with his free hand. "Remember the other day when you asked me to never let you go, Lexei? I promised you I wouldn't. I keep my promises. I'll never let you go. Never let you go..."

Alex's sobs quieted and Mulder pulled back a fraction, kissing his forehead. "It's late. We're both exhausted. Why don't we get some sleep and we can talk about this more tomorrow, when we're both a little more rational?"

Alex stood quietly, with his head down and his eyes closed. Mulder slipped a hand under his chin and lifted.

"Hey. Open your eyes."

The younger man shook his head and attempted to turn his face away. Mulder wasn't having it.

"Look at me. Alex..."

Almost blue eyes, streaked with red, slowly opened and still avoided looking into those that stared intently.

"Why can't you look at me?"

Alex wrenched his face out of Mulder's light grasp and turned it downward. The older man sighed softly.

"Okay. No more questions, tonight." He began to unbutton Alex's shirt and was stopped immediately, by a hand on his. "You can't sleep in your clothes. I was just helping you get them off."

"I can do it." Alex replied flatly.

Mulder stared at him, more confused than before. He removed his hands from the shirt. "Okay."

Alex turned away and undressed slowly, then got into bed. Mulder watched him lay rigidly on his side and close his eyes.

"Um," he spoke to the prone man, "Scully said I should keep my hand wrapped, so I gotta go do that. I'll be right back."

Alex's eyes opened halfway and he nodded almost imperceptibly.

Mulder went quickly to the bathroom, wrapping his hand and undressing in record time, afraid that Alex may try to sneak out, while he was gone. But when he returned, Alex was still in bed though now, he was rolled over onto his side, facing the wall. Mulder shut the lights off and slipped into bed behind him. He wrapped an arm around Alex and snuggled against his back. The younger man's body automatically stiffened in response.

"I'm not letting you go. I'm not spending another night like the last one." He kissed the back of Alex's head and tightened his hold a bit. "I love you, Lexei."

Alex stared silently at the wall, shivering in the warmth of his lover's arms.

###

Mulder blinked in the early morning sunlight and looked down at the man wrapped securely in his arms. Alex snored softly, his dark head resting on Mulder's chest, arm tucked around his waist. Mulder inclined his head, planting soft kisses in his lover's hair

Thank you God, it was just a really long, really awful dream...

Alex stirred and nuzzled the sprinkling of hair beneath his cheek. As consciousness began to overtake sleep, he froze. Stiffened and pulled away. Mulder turned onto his side, facing the man who was now laying on his back. He hesitated, then spoke.

"I woke up a few minutes ago and found you fast asleep in my arms. I didn't drag you there. You came to me on your own. And whether you were asleep or awake when you did, you know it's where you wanted to be."

Mulder reached out and stroked the back of his hand down Alex's cheek. The younger man flinched at the touch.

"Talk to me, Lexei. Tell me why you're doing this. Why do you suddenly feel like you don't deserve to be happy?"

A good fifteen minutes passed before Alex spoke. Mulder strained to hear the low, scratchy voice.

"Remember that night after everything was over and you offered to take me out for a beer?"

"Of course."

"I was scared."

"Of what?"

"Of you letting me walk out of your office. I didn't know where I was going or what I was going to do. But that wasn't the frightening part. I'd been wandering from place to place for years. Only difference would be, that I wouldn't have to steal anything or kill anybody." Keeping his eyes averted, he took a breath and continued. "What really scared me was never seeing you again. I never dreamed that you and I would ever work together, much less say so much as a civil word to each other. Then fate threw us together. I always felt an attraction to you, but months of being with you day in and day out, strengthened it to a degree that shocked me and when it was over and you told me I was free to go, all I could think was that I didn't want to be free if it meant not seeing you anymore. When you stopped me at the door and invited me out for a beer, I didn't know what the hell to do. My hopes soared, then I shot them down, telling myself that you and me becoming friends would be an amazing miracle. Anything more than that was pure fantasy..."

Mulder remained silent, waiting for him to continue. A few seconds later, he did.

"When we were walking out to the parking lot, I was sure that this time, it was the end of the line. When you reached out to shake my hand, I felt my knees go weak. When you didn't let it go and you stroked my knuckles with your thumb, I thought my heart would come out of my chest. I don't even remember how we wound up against your car..." Alex closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "I only remember how everything started to spin when your arms closed around me and your mouth covered mine. I couldn't... I couldn't think, I couldn't... I could only feel and God, it felt so good. I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt anything but pain and emptiness. And I took what you offered me that night and every day afterward, and pushed who I'd been and what I'd done as far away as I could make it go. And then I buried it. For a year and a half, I'd become someone else. And you were happy with who I was. God knows how long I would've gone on that way, if Richardson hadn't dug up the part of me I'd buried." He laughed softly, bitterly. "I actually started to believe that I was who I'd been pretending to be. I actually believed that I deserved you and everything good that came with you. Richardson reminded me of where I came from and who I'd become. I began to see bits and pieces of the real me when he showed up. Driving you out of here yesterday and destroying the yard really drove it home."

Mulder listened, shaking his head.

"You can drape me in nice clothes, stick me in a beautiful house, give me a hobby and a trusting, handsome, upstanding man to share my life with, and underneath it all I'm still the same scum I started out as." He looked around. "I don't know why I let you convince me to stay, last night. I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't..."

Mulder swung his body over Alex's, straddling him from above before the distraut man could decide to bolt.

"You're exactly where you should be." He laid a hand on the side of Alex's face to stop him from turning away. "And I'm tired of seeing you look everywhere but at me." He caressed his lover's face. "I love your eyes, Lexei. Let me see them... please."

"I can't, I..."

"Look at me."

"Don't make me."

Mulder nuzzled his jaw. "Lexei..."

Alex shuddered and finally turned glassy eyes up to meet those of the man above him. The intensity of Mulder's gaze caught and held him in a vice-like trance. All at once, he became agonizingly aware of every last inch of the body that rested so intimately against his and the hardness that pressed into his own growing erection.

"You've got the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen," Mulder whispered to him. "So much depth. Even behind all the pain I see in them right now, there's so much more. I see love. And need." His head lowered slowly, afraid to startle Alex and ruin his progress. Gently, his lips brushed the younger man's, drawing a soft gasp. His tongue inched out, carefully tracing the line of Alex's lower lip.

Alex's eyes drifted shut and he opened his mouth to his lover in offering. Mulder accepted the invitation, sweeping inside, tasting and stroking the smooth sweetness. Alex's soft moans vibrated on his tongue as it found it's mate, coaxing and teasing, until the moans turned to whimpers of frustration.

Mulder pulled away, leaving Alex panting and flushed. He could feel the younger man struggling to keep from writhing beneath him and he watched as his hands, those wonderfully talented hands, clenched in the pillow, on either side of his head. He reached out and gently began to pry one hand away. Having finally accomplished the task, he held that hand firmly, while working on the other. When finally, he held both of Alex's hands in his own, he moved them to his back.

"Touch me, Lexei."

Alex locked his muscles, resisting the attempt. Mulder lowered his head and brushed Alex's lips.

"You gave me your mouth, baby. Surely you can't think that I'd be satisfied with just that. I want the rest. Give it to me. You know you want to."

Alex shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut, trying unsuccessfully to stop the quivering that told Fox a different story.

"What are you doing, Alex? Every little thing about you tells me that you want me. Why are you fighting so hard to deny it?"

No reply.

"Okay. You don't want to touch me, you don't have to." Still gripping Alex's hands, Mulder raised them above his head and pinned them there. "But before I let you out of this bed, you are going to give in..." His mouth came down on Alex's, drinking in the weak cries of protest. His hips began a slow grind, gently rubbing their cotton-covered erections together. When Alex's body began to arch up against his, Mulder broke the kiss and moved to his ear, whispering, "Tell me what you want, Alex. Your body is already saying it loud and clear. Now, give me the words." Alex bit his lip as Mulder traced a moist line down his throat, then nibbled at the base. "Tell me where you want to go baby, and I'll take you there."

A small, choking sound was all the answer Alex could muster.

Mulder took a chance and released his hands. He slid down Alex's body, licking and nipping at the sensitive skin. He stopped at one brown nipple and pulled it into his mouth, sucking at the tight bud and flicking his tongue across the tip.

Alex twisted beneath him and emitted a loud whine. His hands left the pillow and clenched in his lover's hair.

Mulder teased him for a while longer, then again began his trek south, grazing the soft skin and fine sable hairs of Alex's belly, before making it to the amazingly hard, yet always velvety smooth length of muscle that stood out from the dark, crisp curls.

His eyes closed in sensuous anticipation of that first taste. His tongue slithered along it's surface, and a long moan rose into the air. Unsure of whether it came from him or the beneficiary of his intimate caress, Mulder tossed the thought away and worked his way to the blunt tip. Once there, his tongue danced around it, lapping at the fluid that had formed.

Alex squirmed beneath Mulder, unable to think about anything but the dull throb of his body and the relief he knew his lover would bring. "Please," he whispered in a broken voice. Please..."

Mulder smiled in triumph. One last pass of his tongue over the head of Alex's cock and then he was swallowing its entire length, taking in every last inch, right down to the base. Alex shrieked and bucked against Mulder, trying in vain to push himself deeper into the older man's mouth. Mulder grasped his hips to hold him still, then began to slide up and down on the shaft, at an agonizingly slow pace.

Alex's head rolled from side to side. The pressure was building to an intolerable level. Mulder sensed his growing anxiety and sank back down to the base, sucking and swallowing until Alex's body tensed and he came, shooting an endless stream of fluid down his lover's throat. Loud, sobbing moans echoed through the bedroom, then faded as he fell into that peaceful lethargy that always followed.

Mulder slid up beside him, kissing his cheek, then the tip of his nose, and finally his mouth. His eyelashes fluttered, then his lids rose and he stared up at the ceiling. The smile faded from Mulder's face as he watched Alex's eyes well up and spill over. The tears slipped silently down the sides of his face and into the pillowcase.

"Alex..." he called softly, brushing the tears away with the back of his hand. "Alex, please. Can't you accept what I have to give you without feeling guilty about it?" He buried his face into the pillow beside Alex's head. "I didn't mean to make you feel worse." He picked his head up and cupped Alex's face in one hand. "All I wanted to do was make you feel good. Can't you understand that you're worthy of being loved? I love you for who you are."

"For who you want me to be..."

"No. Why is it so hard to believe that this is who you are? Those years that you spent working for those bastards, have passed. They went down in flames and you lit the match, Alex. You didn't go down with them and that was your choice. A soulless killer or a crazy man wouldn't have the conscience or the heart to make the decision that you did. And all this time that we've been together. All the fun we've had. All the hard work on this house... the late nights that I drag in here, and you're waiting for me with a warm meal and a massage... the countless ways you show me your love, every day... you're going to tell me that man isn't really you? Bullshit. You can tell me it isn't you from now till hell freezes over and I won't believe it. So we had a fight. So you were so upset over me walking out, that you trashed the garden. So you've got an insecurity issue that neither one of us knew about till now. So we found out that things aren't as perfect as we thought. So what? We'll talk about it. We'll work it out. But I'm not going to stand by and let you punish yourself for it. And think about this. Whatever pain you inflict on yourself, you inflict on me."

Alex blinked and brought his gaze down from the ceiling, to Mulder's face. Mulder stroked his cheek.

"Don't you know how much it hurts me to see you like this? Don't you know that if you left me, it'd break my heart?" He studied Alex intently. "Would you break my heart, Lexei?"

Alex shook his head, unable to tear himself away from his lover's hypnotic stare.

"Why not?"

"Because I love you."

"Do you mean that?"

"Yes."

"Can a heartless killer love?"

Alex's eyes glazed over and a single tear escaped the corner of his eye. Mulder kissed it away.

"Would he cry?"

He pulled Alex into his arms and held him while the younger man wept softly into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Alex chanted between shuddering breaths.

Mulder tightened his embrace and rocked his lover slowly. "Shh. Don't. It's okay. It's okay..."

Alex clung tightly to Fox, allowing himself to be soothed by the steady beat of his heart and long, smooth strokes of his hand, up and down his back. They lay quietly together for a while, then Alex spoke.

"I'm sorry I didn't believe you."

"You believe me now?"

"Yeah."

"Absolutely?"

Alex nodded. "And I'm sorry for all the stuff I said to you. If I could take it all back..."

"Don't dwell on it. What's done is done. Just let it go, okay?"

"But I hurt you..."

"You were hurting, too."

"I caused my own pain. I deserved whatever I got. You didn't ."

"Don't say that. You don't deserve to hurt and you've got to stop thinking that you do."

Alex gave no immediate reply. He simply turned his face into Mulder's chest and breathed deeply. After long seconds, he asked, "How's your hand?"

Mulder pulled his right hand away from Alex's back and looked at it. "I hadn't even really thought about it." He bent and unbent his fingers. "A little sore, I guess. But not bad."

Alex reached for the hand and pulled it to his lips. After planting a few soft kisses along the line of the bandage, he held it to his cheek. "You said you hit him..."

"Yeah."

"Just once?"

"No..."

"I didn't think so. Not from the damage I saw last night."

"He was asking for it."

"And you think that now, we've heard the last from him?"

"Yeah, I do."

Alex nodded then scattered a few warm kisses across his lover's chest. "I know you want to talk all of this out, but can we just forget about it for a little while?"

Mulder hugged Alex to him. "Sure. You tired?"

"Not really. I was kind of thinking that... um..."

"What?"

He dropped more kisses onto Mulder's chest, then a few up the column of his throat. "Can I... would you let me..."

By the time Alex reached his chin, Mulder's eyes had dropped shut. He tilted his head downward and moaned at the touch of Alex's lips on his. The younger man slid up, covering Mulder's body with his own, continuing to tease his mouth. Mulder threaded a hand through his hair and opened his mouth, inviting him to deepen the kiss. He did and was immediately rewarded with a deep groan of pleasure. Mulder's cock had gradually softened after he'd brought Alex to orgasm a while ago and they'd begun to talk. Now, it jumped back to life, hardening almost instantly at the feel of his lover's mouth on his.

Alex pulled away from the kiss and licked the stubbled line of Mulder's jaw, loving the feel of it against his sensitive tongue. He continued, sweeping up to Mulder's ear, nipping gently at the lobe, then probing the interior. Mulder cocked his head, tilting it into the teasing caress.

"I love you," Alex whispered, his words drawing a hard shudder from his lover. Mulder's fingers tightened in Alex's hair, jerking his head back to center, where he quickly devoured the younger man's mouth. With his free hand, he began to tug at the underwear he still wore, getting an immediate assist from the man on top of him. Mulder groaned as Alex pulled away to get the briefs all the way off, but in an eyeblink he was back, being pulled once again, down to Mulder's searching lips.

Alex lay sprawled along the length of Mulder's body, once again surrendering his mouth to his lover's hungry kiss. Mulder's hand wandered restlessly, up and down his back, then came to rest on the rounded curve of his ass. He pressed down, while pushing up with his hips, impressing on his lover, the extent of his arousal. Alex groaned into his mouth and rolled his hips slowly, teasing his lover's cock to even greater hardness.

Mulder tore himself away from Alex's mouth. "Alex," he panted, "I need you..."

Alex reached down between them and stroked the silky length of Mulder's erection, ignoring his own. "Tell me what you want. I'll do anything..."

"Anything you do to me feels like heaven, baby."

Alex's eyes took on an odd expression. "Please, Fox. Tell me what you want."

Two pairs of eyes locked. One pleading, the other studying. Mulder chewed on his lower lip.

"Lick my nipples."

Obediently, Alex slid down his chest and began to lick gently at one hard peak.

"Mmmm, yeah. Flick it... oh, that's it... now, suck it... Jesus, Alex... Christ..."

Alex worked Mulder's nipple just the way he instructed, then moved on to the other when he was told to. Mulder stroked the dark hair lovingly, thoroughly enjoying Alex's attentions. When it finally hit him that Alex hadn't and wouldn't deviate from his last instructions, he issued a new one.

"Work your way down to my cock. Slowly."

Again, Alex immediately complied, kissing and licking his way down Mulder's chest and belly, pausing to tease the small indentation of his navel, before continuing on toward his goal. As he approached, Mulder spoke again, this time in a noticeably shaky voice.

"Tease me, Lexei. Don't let me come until I tell you to."

Alex repeatedly grazed Mulder's sides and hips with his palms, while the tip of his tongue skittered along the heated surface of his lover's cock. As he worked, he listened attentively to every moan and sigh, expertly gauging the level of Mulder's arousal, adjusting speed and pressure as needed.

Mulder's head rolled slowly on the pillow. Short, audible breaths escaped past his parted lips as Alex followed his instruction, to the letter.

Jesus, he'so...

His neck arched, snapping his head back into the pillow, as a warm wetness engulfed him completely and a light suction began.

"Oh shit... oh... God... baby... no... I can't..." He gritted his teeth and just as he was about to pull Alex off of him by his hair, the pressure began to subside. "Damn Alex, that was close," he whispered, struggling to control his breathing.

Alex licked and nuzzled him gently, giving him a chance to come down a bit. When Mulder's respiration slowed to a reasonable rate, Alex resumed, building the agony to another near-explosion, unerringly pulling away at just the right moment.

Mulder gave him no chance to repeat it. He closed his fingers in Alex's hair and pulled him up, into a numbing kiss. "You're just too goddamn good," he murmured appreciatively into the younger man's mouth. "But I've had about all I can take. I need to be inside you..."

Alex nuzzled his jaw. "How do you want it?"

Hazel eyes glistened in the bright morning light. "Your call."

"I'll take it any way you want to give it to me."

Mulder gazed up at his lover, a million questions buzzing through his head. Their sexual relationship was generally one of give and take, neither one being constantly dominant or submissive, but very lately and most especially this morning, it seemed that Alex had become more compliant than Mulder had ever seen him. He drew the fingertips of his bandaged hand down Alex's cheek, thinking. He stretched up the scant few inches it took for him to kiss the beautifully bowed lips. He let his head drop back onto the pillow and he stared up into his lover's face. His faint whisper barely made it up to Alex's ear.

"Ride me."

Alex's face contorted with an emotion Mulder couldn't quite recognize, then it was gone. He sat up slowly, drawing his hands down the older man's chest as he did.

Never taking his eyes off of Alex's, Mulder bucked, bouncing his lover up and down. "Come on, Lexei," he whispered, rubbing his hands over Alex's thighs. He bucked again. "Take it."

Alex rose slightly, grasping Mulder's cock, to help guide it, then lowered himself, slowly taking in every last inch. Mulder's eyes closed and a look of pure ecstasy washed over his features as he felt the tight heat close around him.

"Baby... oh God, baby... slow and easy..."

Alex moved a fraction at a time, keeping a close watch on Fox's reactions, taking care not to take him too close to the edge. His own cock screamed for attention, but he ignored it, instead concentrating all his energies on Fox and what he needed.

Mulder lay still, allowing Alex to do the work. Only his hands moved, wandering over Alex's chest and arms, stroking and gently pinching his pebble-hard nipples. Alex groaned with pleasure, then as if realizing his mistake, gently pushed the hands away.

Mulder's eyes opened and held on his lover's. He moved one hand purposefully down to Alex's cock and wrapped his fingers around it. He watched the glazed green disappear behind closing lids as he tenderly stroked the velvety length.

Alex arched his neck and moaned deep in his throat as Mulder worked him in a steady rhythm, comparable to the one he had set.

So good, so... no. No...

Alex opened his eyes and pried Mulder's hand away. He grasped the other hand and brought them both up to his mouth, then intertwined their fingers and wound Mulder's arms around his waist, effectively pinning his own hands behind his back. Mulder stared up at him in obvious confusion.

"Lexei..."

Alex leaned over Mulder, offering his mouth, knowing that he'd never refuse it. As he kissed Alex, he bent his knees and tilted his pelvis, providing cradling support and insuring that Alex remained fitted tightly to him. As Mulder fed on his lover's lips, Alex began a rhythmic contracting of his muscles, milking the cock inside him, even as he continued to rock back and forth.

Mulder tightened his arms around Alex's waist, pulling the younger man's arms back into a slightly more uncomfortable position. Alex issued not a single whimper of complaint, but rather squeezed the muscles surrounding Mulder's cock, harder, taking his lover dangerously close to the edge.

Mulder knew how close he was and made no attempt to alter Alex's movements. "I'm ready baby," he rasped. "Can't..can't hold it..." He jerked upward, forcing Alex to move faster.

Alex's eyes closed and he obeyed the silent command, thrashing against his lover. His own body ached with need but he refused to give in to it. This was for Fox... His eyes snapped open as he felt his hands being released and himself being yanked down on top of Mulder's chest. He moaned frantically as his cock became trapped between their bodies and he felt the pressure immediately build to a point beyond return. He struggled, trying to free himself, but Mulder's grip was strong and insistent.

"Come on, Lexei... come with me," he gasped into the younger man's ear as he pressed upward, driving all rational though from Alex's mind.

Unable, and no longer willing to maintain control of his needs, Alex let go, taking them both screaming over the precipice, then into the dark, comforting quiet.

Long minutes passed before Mulder regained enough of himself to attend to the man lying passively in his arms. He rubbed Alex's perspiration-dampened back and dropped several kisses into his hair.

"I'm hungry, all of a sudden. How about some breakfast?"

"Yeah, okay," Alex said softly, attempting to get up. "What do you want?"

Mulder held him to his chest. "To know what you want. I'm cooking."

"No, I'll do it."

"No, you don't." He rolled Alex underneath him and kissed his nose. "You cook and take care of things around here, all the time."

"But you work so much..."

"Yeah, but I've got nothing pressing going on this weekend. So..." he gave Alex another quick kiss, "I'm going to take care of you for a change."

"Fox..."

"This isn't up for discussion," Mulder warned. "I'm going to go grab a shower. You stay right here and relax while I do. When I get out, I'm going to make us breakfast. Got it?"

Alex's eyes fell away from his face and he nodded.

No argument? Okay, who are you and what the hell have you done with my Alex?

Mulder decided to let it go. "What would you like?"

Alex shrugged. "Whatever you want."

Mulder emitted a soft sigh and rose from the bed. "I'll only be a few minutes."

Alex's eyes followed him to the bathroom, then closed as he swung the door shut. He turned on to his side, pulling a pillow against his chest, trying to replace the warmth lost when Mulder left him.

Almost ten minutes went by when he'd decided that he couldn't stay in bed any longer. He spun to his feet and pulled on his underwear, then walked toward the bathroom. The water was just stopping as he opened the door. He grabbed the towel off the rack and waited. The door slid open and Mulder looked up, a bit startled.

"Sorry," Alex apologized, wrapping the towel around him. "I just... I had to get up."

"S'okay. You just kinda startled me."

Alex rubbed the towel across his dripping chest and arms, then turned him around and started on his back.

"You know..." Mulder said, just realizing what Alex was doing, "I can dry myself."

"I know," Alex stopped, responding with just a tinge of hurt in his tone.

Mulder turned back to face him. "Hey," he tried to lighten the mood. "If you get your jollies from drying me off, far be it from me to stop you."

Alex held the towel out to him. "Here," he said softly. "You're right. You can do it yourself."

Mulder snagged the towel and quickly wrapped it around Alex's wrist before he could let it go, and pulled him forward. Their faces were only inches apart. "Finish," he hissed softly against the younger man's lips.

Alex stood frozen for a number of seconds, then took the towel from Mulder's loosened grip and moved to complete his task.

Mulder stood still, eyes drifting shut as Alex rubbed the soft cotton gently, over every inch of him. He felt his cock begin to stir as the towel moved up his thighs, then between them. A barely audible moan sounded into the humid air.

Alex watched his lover's erection swell to its full length. He looked up to find Mulder staring down at him, hunger blazing again in his eyes. Maintaining eye contact, he leaned forward and gingerly ran the tip of his tongue up the underside of the solid shaft. Mulder cut off a hoarse groan and grabbed hold of the towel, pulling Alex up in front of him. He backed the younger man slowly into the side of the pedestal sink, then abruptly spun him around to face it.

"Bend over."

Shaking, Alex did as he was told. He closed his eyes and waited. Mulder left and returned quickly, slathering his cock with lube, as he did. One hand slid up Alex's back and grasped his shoulder, while the other guided his cock to the small opening. He plunged forward, pulling a sharp gasp from the man under him. Once inside, his hand moved to steady Alex's hip as he pumped relentlessly into him.

Alex gripped the sink with one hand and the nearby towel rack, with the other. He gritted his teeth as Fox slammed into him, using hard, fast strokes. The whimpers above him, grew louder, then ended on a sharp cry as Mulder emptied himself into his lover. Alex remained folded over the sink, until Mulder regained enough strength to move away from him. He stood up straight and turned to find himself immediately enfolded in Mulder's arms.

"You're just too fucking irresistible," Mulder muttered into his throat.

Alex wound his arms around his lover. "Any time you want me," he whispered into Mulder's hair.

Although he knew that Alex was sincere, the statement troubled Mulder. Again, he pushed it aside and hugged Alex to him. The hard length of the younger man's cock brushed against his thigh. He pressed into it. "Let me do something about this."

Alex stiffened and started to pull away. "I'm okay. What I really need is some breakfast. All of a sudden, I'm starving."

Mulder studied him, suspicion shadowing his eyes. "Yeah?"

Alex nodded, not quite meeting his gaze.

"Alex..."

"Really Fox, I'm not... I just... don't really feel up to it."

One golden-brown eyebrow arched upward." Doesn't look that way to me."

"Just a reaction. But I really don't feel like it."

Why didn't you tell me that, a few minutes ago?"

"I mean, for me."

He had to say it. "So, what you're telling me is, you let me fuck you just now, without really wanting to."

"No, that's not what I'm saying. I wanted very much, to satisfy you..."

"Alex, it turned you on, there's no denying that." He looked down at the other man's still rigid erection, for emphasis. "You're going to stand there and tell me that you don't need to come?"

"I did, not all that long ago."

"So did I. What's your point?"

"It's just not that strong an urge, right now." He tried to smile in the face of Mulder's concern. "Food is about all I can think about at the moment, yet you seem intent on starving me."

Mulder stared at him a full ten seconds, before dropping a light kiss on the bridge of his nose.

"Looks like I could use another shower. Mind sharing yours with me?"

Alex rubbed his head against Mulder's shoulder. "Of course not."

They stepped into the shower together, Mulder behind Alex. Mulder washed quickly, then kissing the back of the younger man's neck, he left him to finish his shower, alone.

Alex finished washing, then adjusted the temperature so that the water was almost ice cold. He forced himself to stand under the spray until his cock went limp and shrank, and his teeth began to chatter. Still, it wasn't enough. Not enough.

###

Alex entered the kitchen and stood in the doorway, watching Mulder at the stove. He was so busy, he hadn't even noticed Alex's arrival.

Fried eggs over medium, bacon... wheat toast. His favorite breakfast. And Fox was making it for him. His stomach began to flutter and turn.

"Hey." Mulder turned to reach for a bowl on the table and finally spotted him. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Few seconds." Alex walked in and opened up the refrigerator.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting the juice and the cream. Need anything else while I'm in here?"

"Yeah. I need you to sit down. I'll take care of everything." Mulder took the carton of orange juice from him and led him to the table. He pulled out a chair and gently pushed Alex down into it. He picked up the folded paper at the other end of the table and handed it to him. He then picked a glass up from the counter and poured the juice. "Here." Alex took the glass and set it down in front of him. "Don't you move from this chair. I've got everything under control." Mulder leaned down and brushed his lips against Alex's forehead, then turned his attention back to the eggs.

Alex unfolded the paper and began to read an article on the front page. Two paragraphs in, he bent the paper in two and dropped it down onto the table. He sat quietly, staring at the table, until Mulder placed his dish in front of him.

"Eat up."

Alex smiled at him and picked up his fork. Ten minutes later, Mulder wearied of watching him play with his food.

"Did I screw it up?"

"No, it's good."

"Then why are you eating like there's glass in it?"

"I'm sorry, I'm just not very hungry, now."

"Something is still bothering you."

Alex could hear the worry in his voice. He looked up and reached for one of Mulder's hands. "I'm okay, Fox. Please don't worry."

"That's kind of hard to do, you know, Lexei?"

"I... I know. I'm sorry."

"I don't want apologies. I want you to be all right."

"I am..."

"You're not. Talk to me. What's got you so bugged?"

"Nothing."

"Bull."

Alex let go of Mulder's hand and left the table. He moved over to the windows and looked out. Mulder followed. He stood directly behind Alex and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"I just want to forget all about this," Alex said softly. "I feel so foolish." He turned to Mulder, eyes pleading. "Can't we just go back a few days? Go on like it never happened?"

"But it did happen. And I really don't think that shoving it into a corner is the best thing."

"But I'm all right. I just flipped out for a little while. It was stupid jealousy, that's all."

"All that you said to me, came out of a little jealousy? I don't think so. That may have triggered it, but it's deeper than just that. We can work it out, Alex. Come on, we started to talk about it, this morning..."

Alex shook his head. "No. No, no. I was j... I was babbling, that's all. Can't you just ignore it?"

"I don't think I can."

Alex closed his fingers in Mulder's shirt and rested his head on his shoulder. "Please, Fox. I'm all right, I swear. Please, please..."

Mulder wrapped his arms around Alex. "Okay." He rubbed a hand up and down the younger man's back, attempting to soothe him. "Okay, Lexei. I won't push."

They stood that way, together in front of the window, for a long while before Alex pulled himself away from his lover's protective embrace. "Sorry you went through all that trouble," he said, nodding toward their ice-cold breakfast.

"You're still not hungry?"

Alex shook his head. "But if you are, I'll get you something..."

"No, I ate enough. You're the one who hasn't had a bite."

"I'll make up for it at lunch." He walked away and began to clear the dishes. Mulder moved to help. He scraped the food into the disposal and handed the plates to Alex, then leaned against the counter and watched him stack the dishwasher.

"What do you want to do today?"

Alex turned the appliance on and turned to face Mulder. "I don't know. Whatever. You have something in mind?"

"Nope." Mulder reached out and pulled Alex into his arms. "And how about we keep it that way? Let's do absolutely nothing. Let's just stay home. Barbecue, watch a movie... cat nap." He inclined his head and nipped at the younger man's chin. "Fool around..."

Alex wrapped his arms around Mulder's waist and buried his face in the side of his neck. "Okay."

"Okay to all of it? Or okay to fooling around?"

"All of it." Alex lifted his head and brushed his cheek against Mulder's. "You could use some rest."

"You too."

"You're the one who has to go to work tomorrow."

"So?" He kissed Alex's neck. "I'm going to finish cleaning up in here..."

"I'll do it."

"No, no." Mulder slipped his fingers through Alex's hair and held his head motionless. He looked into the eyes that refused to remain still. "I got other plans for you. Why don't you go wait for me in the hammock? I'll be there soon."

Alex hesitated, then moved away. He stopped at the door and looked back at Fox, who had already turned to his work. He pushed the door open and exited the kitchen. He walked slowly through the house and out to the back. Pausing on the patio, he looked around the yard. A tidal wave of regret washed over him as he viewed what was left of his beautiful garden. He felt his stomach lurch and was instantly grateful for not having eaten breakfast. He took two deep breaths and moved toward the hammock.

###

Green eyes drifted open and looked up at the man standing beside the hammock.

"Move over."

Alex made room for Fox, who dropped in beside him.

"You were asleep."

"No..."

"Yes, you were. I was standing here for at least five minutes, watching you."

Silence, then a soft query. "So what are these plans you have for me?"

Mulder studied him for a few moments, then pulled him against his chest. He slowly combed his fingers through the soft sable hair. "Just this."

"You made it sound almost ominous."

"Did I? Sorry. I just wanted you to relax." He continued the soothing caress. "Close your eyes. Go back to sleep."

"I don't think I can. I don't know how it is I fell asleep in the first place."

"You're tired. No big mystery in that." Mulder looked down and caught Alex's eyes skittering across the remains of his garden. "I know it may not make you feel any better but, it's not so bad. We can replace the bushes and most of the plants and you can replant your vegetables next year. "In fact," he offered, hugging Alex tightly, "I know I talked about just relaxing today, but if this really bothers you all that much, we can go out and get some stuff and start restoring it, today."

Alex glanced up at Mulder, then back out to the garden, but gave no answer. Mulder released him and rolled out of the hammock. He grasped the younger man's hand and tugged him to his feet.

"Let's go."

###

"Well," Mulder grunted, pulling the last tub of hydrangeas out of the pickup, "this is a pretty good start, dontcha think?"

Alex nodded.

Mulder looked at his watch. "Well, we blew right through lunch, but we can have some dinner then get started, if you want."

"Fox, why don't you just take it easy for the rest of the day? You've got work tomorrow. I've got all day tomorrow, to take care of this..."

Mulder shook his head. "If you're tired then, yeah. It can wait till tomorrow. But I can't stand to see that look in your eyes, every time you look around the yard. The sooner we can rebuild it, the sooner maybe, you can start to feel better."

"I understand and I appreciate what you're trying to do... look, I tore it up, I'll fix it."

"Alex, I had a hand in this, too."

"You had nothing to do with it. It was me."

"I may not have cut or pulled anything up, but I won't let you shoulder all the responsibility. If I had been a little smarter and realized what Richardson was up to from the jump, we might not be where we are, right now."

"Yeah, we would. Because nothing would have filtered through the jealousy and suspicion I felt. This is my fault. I have to fix it myself, or I won't feel right. Please understand."

Impatience crept into Mulder's tone. "I can't. If we can work together, why shouldn't we?"

Alex's gaze dropped to the ground. "I'm sorry. You're right." He picked up a flat of ivy and turned toward the yard.

Mulder remained a while longer, standing by Alex's truck. He closed his eyes and opened them slowly. Then, picking up the hydrangea, he followed Alex into the yard.

Mulder stood in front of the grill, supposedly tending to the steaks, but he was a million miles away. The light touch of a hand on his arm, startled him. He turned and came face to face with Alex, who'd just come out of the shower. The light from the citronella torches sparkled in his eyes and added a warm glow to his still-damp hair. Mulder stared, speechless, at the sad, beautiful face.

"Are you still not talking to me?"

"I was never not talking to you, Alex. I just didn't know what to say. You've got me very confused, you know?"

Alex took one tiny step at a time, until he was molded into Mulder's body. "I'm sorry," he rasped softly, slowly raising his palms against the older man's chest. "I'm sorry." He lowered his head to Mulder's shoulder and pressed closer.

Mulder wound one arm around him and rested his cheek against his head. "It's okay," he said flatly. "Let's just have dinner, all right? These steaks are just about done." He released Alex and returned his attention to the grill. Alex lingered a few seconds longer, then disappeared into the house. A while later, he reappeared, carrying two small bowls of salad and a couple of bottles of beer.

Mulder approached the table with a platter containing the steaks and a couple of baked potatoes. He set the platter down and sat back as Alex immediately began to serve the food. They ate in virtual silence, neither man really enjoying his meal. When they'd finally dispensed with the pretense of eating, Mulder picked up his beer and looked out into the darkened yard.

Alex watched him for a while, then cautiously rose from his chair and came to stand in front of him. Mulder looked up into his face, then followed it down, as Alex sank to the tiled patio floor. He sat motionless, as the younger man carefully placed a hand on his thigh and laid his head on his lap. Long minutes passed, before Mulder raised a hand and began to stroke and pet the glistening dark hair. Alex's eyes drifted shut and he released a long shuddering breath.

Just as Mulder thought he might be falling asleep, Alex's hand began to move higher on his leg, rubbing back and forth. Almost unnoticeably, he shouldered his way between the older man's legs, moving his head against his groin. Mulder continued to finger-comb Alex's hair, as he nuzzled the growing bulge.

Alex stopped for a moment, and looked up into his lover's glittering hazel eyes, silently asking for, and receiving his approval. He unbuttoned Mulder's jeans, then drew the zipper down, revealing the midnight blue boxer-briefs that barely contained a rather impressive erection. Mulder lifted his hips, allowing Alex to pull his jeans and underwear down and off. As soon as the garments were removed, Alex leaned down, pressing his face against his lover's cock, inhaling the smell that was his, alone.

Mulder let his head fall back and a tiny sigh escaped his throat. All the encouragement Alex needed to take things a step further.

Slowly, his tongue inched out and stroked the underside of Mulder's cock, eliciting a barely noticeable twitch in the older man's upper lip. The strokes became increasingly bolder until the man at Mulder's feet, had him squirming helplessly in his seat.

A deep moan rumbled in Mulder's chest as Alex worked him, neglecting not one inch of rigid flesh. Then, using his tongue only, he scooped the fuzzy sac that rested heavily on the chair, into his open mouth. Mulder's fingers curled into his lover's hair and he arched upward.

Damn good. That's what Alex was. A flick of the tongue. Sweep of those impossibly thick eyelashes and Mulder was all his. Mulder knew it and had never been the least bit ashamed to say so. It made Alex smile whenever he heard the claim. A blessed constant in his life, he knew this was one thing that was no lie. The heat that radiated between them could never be fabricated. Time and even now, conflict, could not cool it. If this was all he had, all that was left, he wanted it. If this was all there was to hold Fox to him, he'd use it and use it, well. Please him in any and every way he knew how, just to go on waking up next to him in the morning. The thought that he'd actually tried to leave last night, scared the hell out of him. What if Fox had let him go? What then? He needed Fox, even as he tried to push away the man's attempted sexual demonstrations of love. A perverse form of self-punishment for the way he'd screwed up, but to his mind, it was appropriate. Necessary.

Mulder writhed in his chair, completely overcome by the pleasure that Alex never failed to deliver. When the younger man moved once again to his aching cock, his hips jerked upward, searching for the wet heat, he loved so much.

Alex obliged, wrapping his lips around the head and probed the small opening with his tongue. The bitter promise of Fox's inevitable explosion, teased his mouth. His tongue slid down the underside, then back up, dancing briefly around the tip, before his head dropped and he swallowed his lover's cock, down to the base.

Mulder's mouth fell open and a quick gasp tumbled out, as he bucked once, then fell back into his seat. Alex sucked gently as he pulled up, almost to the head, then slid back down the glistening shaft and stopped halfway. Mulder groaned and bucked again, then again, when Alex still hadn't moved. By the third time, his frustration had gotten the better of him, and he tightened his fingers in the younger man's hair and repeatedly jerked his hips and down, brutally forcing himself in and out of the compliant mouth.

Alex was an expert in the art of giving head, but when he was in control of the situation. He had no intention to control this. He attempted to relax his throat and take his lover's ample length as he had so many times before, but Mulder's erratic movements threw him off balance and he choked several times. Still, he refused to let go, taking the punishing strokes as best he could.

Mulder's increasingly frantic whimpers signaled his coming climax. Alex moved a bit lower on Mulder's cock, giving him a shorter distance to travel, as he continued to assault the younger man's mouth.

"God... mmph... oh, shit... Alex... God..."

Mulder bucked one last time and exploded into Alex's mouth, crying his name into the still, night air. He collapsed into his chair, struggling for breath, as the man on the floor, gently lapped at his gradually softening cock. He slumped in the seat, only vaguely aware of movement and the absence of Alex's presence. An eternity filled with nothing passed, and he felt gentle hands on him, under his arms, pulling him to his feet.

"Come on," the soft voice coaxed, "time for bed."

"The dishes..."

"All done. Let's go."

More asleep than awake, Mulder allowed Alex to lead him to the bedroom, where he was stripped of his clothing and lowered to the mattress. By the time Alex had gone into the bathroom and returned, Mulder was again, sound asleep. Slowly, he removed his own clothes, then slid under the sheet.

A soft sigh broke the silence as Mulder stirred, then went still. Alex turned carefully onto his side and studied his lover. He watched the gentle rise and fall of Mulder's chest for a while, then his gaze wandered up to his face, drinking in the beauty of the sleep-softened features. From the heavy fringe of golden-brown lashes, to the moderately stubbled jaw, to his mouth... that mouth. Soft and beautifully full and... Mark Richardson was a lousy, sneaky son of a bitch, but he was right on the mark about his theory. These lips were just made for... shit, and Alex's cock agreed one thousand percent. It throbbed within the confines of his underwear, begging to feel the wet heat of that mouth, surrounding him. He attempted to push his body's demands away. He lay rigidly still and closed his eyes. Sometime in the early hours of the morning, he fell asleep.

###

Mulder entered the kitchen, tempted there, by the smells of breakfast. He walked up behind Alex who was at the stove, and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Morning."

"Good morning."

"Smells good."

"Hungry?"

"Yeah." Mulder firmed his grip on the younger man's shoulder, and turned him around. His eyes automatically fell to the light bruise around the right corner of Alex's mouth. He winced, as if slapped. "Alex, I'm..."

"What?"

"Did I do this to you? Last night?"

Alex's twisted to kiss the hand that still rested on his shoulder. "It's okay."

"Does it hurt?"

"No."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's nothing."

"I shouldn't have been so rough. It won't happen again..."

Alex's eyes turned a deeper shade of green. "Was it good?"

"Good enough to wipe out any memory of what happened after, and how I got to bed."

"Then don't worry about it. It's well worth a little bruise to know that I satisfied you."

"Not to me." His hand moved up to Alex's cheek and his thumb brushed gently across the injured corner of his mouth. "Not like this. I didn't want to hurt you, Lexei."

"You didn't hurt me." Alex covered Mulder's hand with his own. "Besides... there are lots of times when we're uh... less than tender with each other."

Mulder said nothing. Alex continued, reinforcing his point.

"Remember that hickey I gave you a few weeks ago?" he teased softly. "That was probably a heck of a lot more painful than this. And a lot more noticeable."

A hint of a smile crossed Mulder's lips. "You sure it doesn't hurt?"

"I'm sure... speaking of hurt, how's your hand?"

"A little sore, but..."

"I told you, you shouldn't have done all that work yesterday."

"Is the yard looking better?"

"Yeah."

"Do you feel better?"

Alex nodded.

Mulder threw his words back at him. "Then it's well worth a little soreness, to know that I made you feel better."

Alex's gaze dropped to the tiled floor between them. He watched the terra cotta patch disappear, as Mulder moved closer. The older man tilted his face up and looked across the very short distance, into his eyes. He searched their green depths for a number of seconds, then very gently, kissed him.

Overly sensitive due to his still unsatisfied state, Alex sighed softly into Mulder's mouth and unconsciously writhed against his body.

Mulder wound an arm around Alex's waist, then slid his hand down to the younger man's ass, rubbing slowly, as he pushed against the solid bulge with his thigh. "Is this for me?" he murmured against Alex's mouth.

Oh yeah, it's for you. All for you. Take it. I need you to... oh God, I need...

Alex tensed and pulled away. Avoiding Mulder's questioning eyes, he tried to keep his tone light. "No time for that, now."

"Alex, I've always got time for you..."

"Later, okay?" Oh, that's good. Like he's not going to remember later, that you said that. "Come on, have some breakfast. You gotta get going, soon."

He managed to coax Mulder to the table and placed his breakfast in front of him. Mulder eyed him warily, as he took the seat across the table and began to pick unenthusiastically at his food.

"You've eaten next to nothing, since yesterday," Mulder commented softly.

"I'm eating..."

Mulder opened his mouth to argue, then thought better of it.

Don't. Don't upset him, then leave him to brood all day.

He changed the subject. "Listen I don't know if you remember, but we're supposed to have that party this weekend for Langly's birthday..."

"Yeah, I remember."

"If you're not up to it, we can go out, instead. Or just skip it altogether..."

"I'm fine, Fox. The party'll go on as planned."

A small wrinkle formed on Mulder's brow. "Are you sure?"

"Positive." Alex glanced at his watch. "You'd better get going."

Mulder nodded. "Yeah." He pulled his chair back and rose from the table. Alex did the same and followed him to the door. Mulder swung the heavy oak open, and turned to Alex, who stood quietly behind him. He reached out and ran his knuckles down the younger man's cheek. "See you, tonight."

Alex gave him a soft, half smile and nodded.

Mulder's hand dropped from his face and wrapped itself around his upper arm.

"Come here."

Alex took three steps forward and found himself immediately encircled in the older man's arms, immersed in a long, sensuous kiss.

Reluctantly, Mulder pulled away and with one last melting glance at his lover, turned and walked toward the garage.

###

"Hey."

"Morning." Scully shed her suit jacket and draped it across the back of her chair. "God, it's like a sauna in here. Don't tell me the AC is out."

"They promised it'd only be for a little while."

"Oh yeah, right. I've heard that before." She dropped down in the chair beside Mulder's desk. "So... how was your weekend?"

Mulder emitted a soft sigh before speaking. "Confusing, is the best word I can come up with at the moment."

"I didn't hear from you. You didn't show up on my doorstep..."

Mulder smiled. "No. We'll work it out... soon as I figure out how."

"I'm not following."

"Well like I said, he's got me confused. In the course of one day, he's gone from one end of the emotional spectrum, to the other." He looked from his desk, to Scully's face. "My 'mountain lion' has turned into a docile, declawed housecat."

Scully squinted at him. "Huh?"

"He's loaded with guilt over what happened. And as a result, he's being completely agreeable. Except when it comes to sex... or anything involving him."

"You're really losing me, Mulder."

"He's being unselfish to the point where it's more like punishment. He's punishing himself, Scully, for a situation that he sees as completely his fault. He thinks he's been fooling himself and me for the past year and a half."

"Fooling you, how?"

"He thinks that he'd only been masquerading as a decent human being all this time and that this mess with Richardson had caused the real him to resurface."

"Is he nuts?"

"He thinks so. He sort of went off the deep end, Saturday night. It wasn't till late Sunday morning, that he stopped talking about leaving."

"Leaving?"

"Said it wasn't his home. That he didn't deserve me or the house or anything else good in his life. I had to take his suitcase away from him and literally restrain him, to stop him from pulling his clothes out of the drawers. Then he just came apart. After a while, he let me put him to bed, but he stayed frozen, with his back to me... even when I put my arms around him and pulled him against me. We woke up yesterday morning and it almost started all over again. But I got him to talk. A little, anyway. I was straddling him to keep him from leaving, one thing led to another and I ended up..." he paused for a moment, then continued. "This isn't what it sounds like but... I held him down and forced him to accept a little pleasure. I knew he wouldn't be able to deny what he felt, for long. As soon as I had him past the point of refusal, I let him go. When it was over and he recovered, he lay there, staring up at the ceiling. Tears started streaming down his face." Mulder's gaze dropped again to the desk and he shook his head.

"I don't understand, Mulder. Why was he crying?"

"Guilt. He felt... he feels like he doesn't deserve my attention... or my affection."

Scully rolled her eyes. "What are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know. I mean, just because I know what the problem is, that doesn't mean that I have the slightest idea how to solve it. I gotta do something though, and soon. I don't know how much longer I can take this. I want my Alex back. Stubborn, opinionated, wise-ass answer for everything... aggressive..."

"Aggressive, huh?"

The right corner of Mulder's mouth curved into a trace of a smile. "There are times when we can get pretty... exuberant. And Alex can give as good as he gets..." He raised and lowered his eyebrows. "Better. And ordinarily, a litle bruise or a scratch on either of us won't bother me, but... I uh... I left a bruise at the corner of his mouth, last night. I didn't realize it till this morning. I feel terrible about it. I think it's because he's being so passive. I think that he thinks he needs to pay for hurting me and destroying the garden and... I'm just... I'm very uncomfortable with the way he's acting. I don't want to use him, Scully. But that's what it felt like, last night and especially this morning, when I saw his face."

"I don't know what to say, Mulder. Just sit him down and talk to him. Tell him how you feel."

"I've tried to talk to him. He just keeps saying that he's all right and he asks me if we can't please forget about it."

"Tell him no! Tell him you want to talk about it and get it settled."

"I tried to insist, yesterday morning. He got almost hysterical on me. I got scared and promised not to push."

"Jeez, Mulder..."

"After that scene Saturday night, I would have done anything to keep him calm."

"I understand that you don't want to upset him Mulder, but this has got to be confronted."

"I know. I... I just... I think I'll give him a little more time. He's still too vulnerable."

"Well, you gotta play it the way you think you need to. Just don't let it go on too long. It's not good for either of you."

"I know."

Scully gave him a sympathetic smile and patted his hand. "Okay, heart to heart hour is over. Time to get to work."

###

Mulder pulled into the garage beside Alex's truck and breathed a sigh of relief. He'd secretly feared that once he was out of the house, Alex might take off. He thought many times during the course of the day, that he should call. Go home for lunch even, but neither of those thing was something he ordinarily did, and he didn't want to make it look to Alex like he was checking up on him. He lifted his suit jacket front the seat beside him, and headed toward the house.

The front door swung open, as Alex was crossing through the living room. He stopped in his tracks, his fingers tightening involuntarily on the rim of the laundry basket that he held. He returned Mulder's wary smile as the older man moved toward him.

"Hi."

"Hi."

As he moved in for a kiss, Mulder took notice of the bruise that seemed to have darkened a bit, since this morning. He cautiously covered Alex's mouth with his own, then pulled away.

"What'd you do, today?"

"Worked outside, mostly." He shifted the basket in his arms. "Laundry..."

Mulder nodded.

"Diner'll be ready, soon."

"Okay, I'll go change."

Alex rubbed his cheek against the palm that rose to caress it. Mulder paused for a moment, staring intently at his lover, then retreated to the bedroom.

###

Dinnertime passed uneventfully. The two men made small talk, discussing Mulder's work and the birthday party they'd had planned for the weekend.

"Have you seen Skinner?" Alex asked, after a sip of iced tea.

"Yeah, we had a meeting with him, this afternoon."

"Is he coming?"

"He said he was pretty sure he could make it."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I know. Shocked me, too. Well you know, it's been a long time. He had to come to the realization sooner or later, that you and I aren't just some ten minute fling. His only choices were to accept that, or flush our friendship."

"He may accept us, but it's only because of your friendship. He'll always hate me."

"He shouldn't. You two are even and it doesn't help anything to hold grudges. Maybe he realizes that, as well."

Alex shrugged. "We'll see."

Mulder grinned at him. "Yeah, we will."

When dinner was finished, Mulder rose to help Alex clear the table. Alex of course, protested.

"Leave it, Fox. I can handle it. Why don't you go relax?"

"I can't go relax, I've got some work to do, and I'm trying to put it off." He smirked at Alex. "Why don't you go relax, and I'll take care of this?"

"Uh uh. Out. Get to work."

Mulder sighed and put his dish down on the counter, giving Alex an exaggerated whine. "I don't want to..."

"Yeah, I know." Alex turned him toward the door and gave him a gentle shove.

"When you're done, will you come and find me in the office?"

A slight hesitation then, "Okay."

Mulder disappeared from the kitchen, leaving Alex to himself. He moved slowly around the room, taking his time, cleaning up. When he cleaned everything he could possibly clean, he left the kitchen and walked down the hall, to Mulder's office. He stood in the open doorway, watching his lover root through case file after case file, muttering to himself all the while.

"Come on, come on... one goddamn little time discrepancy and my whole case is shot to shit..." Mulder threw another file down on the pile to his right, and caught something in the corner of his eye. He swiveled his chair around and found Alex lingering in the doorway. He pulled his glasses down to the tip of his nose and smiled. "Ah. Distraction."

"Sorry. You asked me to join you, so I..." He turned sideways, ready to leave. "I'll just go find..."

"No!" Mulder reached out, knowing he was too far to touch Alex. "You misunderstood me. I'm grateful for the distraction." He waved his outstretched hand. "Get in here."

Alex stepped into the room and looked around at the chaos. "This is some mess. Can I help you find something?"

"I'm looking for a nineteen ninety seven file. There were six murders committed in Augusta, Georgia and surrounding cities. They had a striking similarity to those that are happening around here. Officials are hesitant to make a connection, but if I can find the times of death of the Georgia victims, I'll have proof that they can't ignore."

Alex sat down on the floor and opened up a file. "What's time of death got to do with it?"

"All four of the victims in this area, have the same approximate TOD."

"How approximate?"

"Within a few minutes."

"And you're betting that these other victims were killed around the same time of day?"

"Night. Morning, actually. Between three fourteen and three nineteen."

"Any other similarities?"

"None that I can pinpoint, so far. There's got to be something... wait... I got it. This is the file I'm looking for."

Alex sat at Mulder's feet, arms draped around bent knees, waiting quietly for the older man to finish reading. He smiled as he watched a bright sparkle appear in the gold-flecked eyes.

"Got your proof?"

"Three sixteen... three fifteen... three fifteen... three eighteen... three seventeen..." He looked from the folder, to Alex. "... three fourteen."

"Now, you just gotta sell it to those yahoos, running the investigation."

"Yeah." Mulder tossed the file onto his desk and switched the computer on.

Alex pushed himself to his knees, and began sorting and stacking the folders.

"You don't have to do that, Lexei. It's my mess, I'll clean it up."

Alex looked up from his task. "It's okay. You just get to work on your report. That way when you're done, you can just go to bed."

Mulder gave him a grateful smile. "Thank you."

Alex returned the smile and went back to sorting and stacking. When he was through, Mulder was still pounding maniacally at the keyboard. Alex unfolded himself and rose from the floor. The movement caught Mulder's attention.

"Where are you going?"

Alex shrugged. "I don't know, I just..."

"Don't leave, okay?"

"You're so busy, you won't even know I'm gone."

"Yeah, I will. I know this sounds stupid, but... I hate being in here, alone. I work a lot better with you in the room."

Alex frowned his confusion.

Mulder reached out, running a hand down his hip and leg. "I just like to feel you near me. Okay?"

Alex gave him a tiny smile and nodded. He turned toward the sofa and dropped down into it. He picked up a magazine from the small stack on the floor and began to leaf through it.

Satisfied, Mulder returned to his work.

###

Green Eyed Monster continued

MMCUSN@aol.com
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Feedback: Yes, please. You can reach me at MMCUSN@aol.com
Rated NC-17 m/m sexual situations and bad language. If either of these bothers you, what the heck are you doing here? Out, out, out!
Summary: An agent from Alex's academy days, appears briefly and stirs up some trouble for our boys. Schmoop and angst abound.
Disclaimer: As much as I wish they were, they aren't mine. They're his. Even though they have much more fun with me...
Author's notes: After reading the Admission series, my buddy Nela was clamoring for another M/K torture piece. This is for her.
Big shout outs to Nic, Orithain and the lovely Pat. Kissy, kissy!

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