Weft -
Rattling
by Amirin
It didn't take long to decide I wanted to. Still, I didn't move. I watched
the sun shine through the trees, enjoyed the illusory idyll of peace and time.
Noticed the utter lack of stress and didn't miss it.
Listened to the ducks and the sounds of children playing, nothing to
interrupt the seamless flow of their lives but the changing of the seasons and
the ending of another school year.
The children, I mean. Not the ducks.
How had Alex gotten from Riverview to wherever the hell he was, now? What
had shattered his innocence, his belief that the world was his oyster? What
road had he taken, strewn with rocks and hidden tree roots and dark, less
traveled paths? And why had he taken it?
And why hadn't I asked him? Why hadn't I made him a party to the refrain
that played in an unending loop through my mind?
Why did you kill my father?
Why did you help kill Melissa Scully?
Why did you let them take Dana?
Why did they return her months later, near death and incapable of ever
having children?
Why did you save my life?
And why did you save it, again?
And again?
And yet again?
And, gee, while I'm asking, what the hell do you want from me?
I didn't have the answers. I wasn't even sure that answers to these
questions existed. Or that he'd give them to me, if I asked.
Was that why I hadn't asked? The fear that the answer was as simple as
'Because they told me to.'? Or as complicated as 'Because I wanted to.'?
I needed to know. Something. Anything. And the man who could tell me was
god only knew where, doing god only knew what.
I sighed and heaved myself to my feet, wondering why I just couldn't leave
it alone.
Was I so buried in the past that only exhumation could pull me into the
present, let alone the future?
I thought and pondered and debated all the way back to the car.And all the
way back to the diner. And all through the pot roast and the apple pie a la
mode. And all the way back to Dr. Keng's place.
And I sat in the Auburn and stared at his building, a huge, old brownstone
that had been divided up into four separate dwellings, and wondered if Alex
were welcome here. If he had his own key. Or if he simply broke in when he
wanted, needed to.
I parked in the carport and headed for the door. He buzzed me in
automatically. Second story, rear apartment.
"Agent Mulder, you're right on time."
"Promptness is a virtue."
He had a nice laugh and looked somewhat surprised at what passed for my
sense of humor. I had to wonder what the hell Alex had told him.
"Come on in."
I followed him into the living room, taking in the huge ceilings,the brick
walls, the floors clean enough to go barefoot on, the furniture, including some
heirloom pieces... He just let me look around with a bemused grin on his face.
It felt like a home. And a beautiful one.
"Nice place," I murmured, settling on one end of the sofa. He took the
other one, gracefully curling one leg under himself.
"Thanks. Less maintenance than a house and we love the neighborhood. Great
frozen custard, around the corner," he grinned and nodded at the picture of
himself on the mantel with a child, a little girl. Serious expression on her
face, but mischief in her eyes.
"Your daughter?" Sometimes I live for asking the obvious.
"Bonnie's just turned three. About a week after her birthday, she somehow
became 'almost four'," he smiled for a moment. "But, you didn't come all this
way to talk about my angel."
"Alex Krycek's been called many things, most of them by me, but 'angel'
isn't one of them," I answered wryly. Again, he seemed surprised when he found
himself laughing, but sobered quickly.
"Alex is many things," he said quietly. "And, for me, and Bonnie, 'angel'
is one of them."
"Why is that?" I frowned, turning a little to meet him more face-to-face.
"He saved her life, Agent Mulder."
Whoa.
"Call me Fox, Doctor. Please." Can't believe I can say that, now, without
stuttering. Shit, what he's done to me.
"Chae, then, Fox."
Chae looked at the picture for a silent moment before sighing and meeting my
eyes again.
"Alex was... visiting us last year. Around the holidays. I was working,
trying to catch up so I could spend some time with my family. A doctor doesn't
have a lot of free time, especially a pediatrician in the middle of cold and
flu season."
He trailed off and I nodded encouragingly.
"My wife, Teresa, and Bonnie were out with Alex, shopping, doing some last
minute things. Terry was driving. They were heading home, taking Old Summer
Hill Road, it's usually the cleanest when the weather turns foul, and it was
snowing just a bit. Not enough to really accumulate, just enough to make the
roads icy."
For some reason, I almost felt like moving closer to the guy. I thought I
could see where this was going. Obviously, the wife was no longer around. And
asking that particular question was totally beyond me.
"She was a good driver. She would have been fine. If it hadn't have been
for the deer."
He smiled sadly at my flinch.
"I'm so sorry."
Chae nodded slowly and sighed, eyes flicking back to the picture on the
mantel.
"She swerved to avoid hitting the damned thing and slid off the road. It
was the only thing she could do. The deer might have gone through the
windshield. Could've killed them all. Anyway, the car rolled, slammed into a
tree, and the gas tank ruptured."
"Ohh, god," I had to look away.
"Yeah," he swallowed heavily. "The car landed on its side with Alex's door
up, so he got out okay, injured, but ambulatory. The fire beat him back three
times, but he got Bonnie out through the rear windshield. Damned near melted
the prothesis off to do it, but he did it, god bless him."
He had to stop and I didn't say anything, couldn't.
"He couldn't... he couldn't get Terry out, Fox. Short of moving the car,
which he actually tried to do, believe it or not, he couldn't get her out. She
was pinned in the car, her side was caved in, another tree was blocking the
front windshield, and he couldn't get her out the back. It was hotter than
hell, it had to've been. Scorch marks on the tree were twenty feet high. You
can still see them, to this day."
Another pause, to drag his hand through his hair.
"He'd put Bonnie down a safe distance away, in case the car exploded, and
tried to find a way to get my wife out. He couldn't do it. There was no way;
if there had been, he'd have found it. There's never been any doubt in my mind.
I know it. Just as I know that he couldn't let her suffer. She was conscious
and he just couldn't let her suffer, Fox. And she would have been in agony,
until either the car blew up or she... burned to... death. Help was at least
twenty minutes away. An eternity..."
Chae trailed off. I stayed quiet, letting him tell me what he needed to at
his own pace.
"The human brain is well-insulated and protected, did you know that?" he
asked me in a whisper.
I nodded. Yeah, I knew that, my former partner had been a forensic doctor.
Who'd thanked god for my hard head more than once.
"It's about the last part of the body to be destroyed, in cases of fire.
And functions until the last possible moment, sending pain signals throughout
the body, as it burns." I knew that, too. Fire was my enemy; I hated it. And
I had all but profiled the hell out of it, back at Oxford. I knew what it
could do to a human being.
"The heart is also well-protected. It keeps working, keeping... keeping the
person alive..."
Chae didn't go on and I just stared numbly back at him as he looked at me
fiercely, waiting for me to get it, waiting for the light to dawn. Hell, I
didn't want to get it, but he was ruthless.
"I've never been so grateful in my life for the fact that Alex goes nowhere
without a gun."
"Oh, my god!"
I could barely get enough air to breathe with, let alone speak.
"He had no choice, Fox. None. And I couldn't hate him for it, I just
couldn't. The man had been closer than family to me for years. He'd have
hacked off his other arm, if it had meant saving Terry. I knew that. He
didn't even have to tell me what he'd done, the fire had destroyed the
evidence, but he did. Later, here."
He answered my unspoken question immediately.
"He left the scene as soon as the ambulance got there. He couldn't go to
the ER with Bonnie; he was still wanted by all manner of people, good and
not-so-good. And any report of him would have sent the alarm bells off."
"What about Bonnie?" I asked.
"She was burned across her chest and down one arm, but not dangerously
injured. And she wasn't talking much. Shock and fear. She couldn't even say
her own name, really, so no one knew who she was. Someone finally recognized
her, got a hold of me and I stayed in the ER with her until she was asleep and
they shooed me out. I hated letting them, but I had to find Alex. When I came
home, there he was, almost unconscious and still fully-clothed, in the
bathtub."
He shook his head and sighed.
"He was such a wreck about Terry, he didn't realize how bad off he was. I
tried to get his prosthetic off without taking any more of him with it than
necessary. It had melted to the rest of his arm. Fortunately, he'd had the
presence of mind to ice it and, following so soon after the heat stress from
melting, it mostly cracked right off him."
I winced, I couldn't help it.
"If he hadn't had it, I don't know if he'd have been able to bear the heat
of the fire on that arm long enough to get Bonnie out. That was the one he
used to free her from the child seat," he mused quietly.
"I helped him get a new prosthetic, for when his arm healed enough to wear
it, and divided my time between him and Bonnie as they both recovered and the
three of us grieved and tried to go on with the business of living. Alex
stayed into late January, not wanting to leave us alone over Christmas, which
was bad enough without Terry. It would've been unbearable without him. Bonnie
adores him."
He smiled when I did and his was just as shaky as mine.
"She's too young to remember most of it. But she knows her mommy died the
week before Christmas."
There wasn't a damned thing I could do as his eyes filled again. Except move
a little closer to where he was.
"You know what she did, what she told Alex she wanted for her birthday?"
I just shook my head.
"She asked him to find her an angel that looked like her mommy,for the
Christmas tree, can you believe it? And he did. He did..." he covered his
eyes with his hands, shuddering. "I'm sorry."
"No, I'm sorry. God, Chae, I'm so sorry. I never meant to..."
"It's not your fault, Fox," he corrected me quickly as he wiped his eyes.
"I knew I'd have to talk about it. Only Alex and I knew what really happened,
until now."
"Why did he want you to tell me?"
"So you'd understand, that even when he is forced to do terrible things,
there's always a damned good reason. Always. He just wanted you to know
that."
I nodded. I knew he had good reasons. To him, anyway. I just wasn't
always sure about his motives. But it gave me something to think about, I
guess.
We sat in silence for a few moments. God, what Alex had had to do shook me.
Badly. It really made me wonder if I wanted my questions answered, after all.
"Can we talk tomorrow?" I asked Chae quietly, seeing his gaze still resting
on the photograph of him and Bonnie. I figured he needed some time alone,
right then.
"Yes, thank you," he murmured gratefully, reaching out to take my hand. "And
thanks for listening, Fox. He said you were good at that. You studied
psychology, right? Oxford?"
"Yes. Criminal Psychology," I explained.
"Ever think about going into private practice?" he asked with what almost
passed for a smile.
"Sometimes," I admitted with a shrug.
I let him go and we both stood.
"You going to be okay?"
"Eventually," he murmured. "Think I'll go watch Bonnie sleep for a while.
Incredibly therapeutic."
His sad smile echoed mine for a moment, enough to let me know it was okay to
leave him.
"I'll see you tomorrow."
"I'm looking forward to it, Fox."
"I'm looking forward to hearing about Alex."
"You want dirt?" he asked with a shaky grin.
"I want dirt," I grinned back.
"I got dirt."
"Then, I'm really looking forward to it."
He chuckled a little as he walked me to the door.
"Around lunchtime? One okay? Come hungry."
"Sounds good. I'll see you then."
We shook hands and I left, slowly walking to where I'd left the car. I was
so damned drained and distracted I didn't even notice the note on the
windshield until I'd gotten in and put the key in the ignition.
I whipped it out from under the wiper blade and opened it. Shit, he was
here, had been right here.
Drive around the block slowly. Come back here and go up
A
I woke up just enough to snort a bug out of my nose, then remembered where
I was and checked the time. It was still reasonably early; if I wanted to, I
could run over to the diner and grab dinner.
to Chae's. Ten minutes. Minimum.
groh@iquest.net
Next Part
Amirin's stories
